The Marquis Curzon: "In a speech in London I denounced the modern craze for digging up skulls and bones and declared that the antiquaries had gone mad. I protested especially against the excavation of a church yard at Gravesend where ' a lot of ghouls' are trying to find the body of Pocahontas, supposedly buried there."

Mrs. Lillian Coogan: "Proud mother that I am, I am furnishing newspapers throughout the country with an installment biography of my son, Jackie."

Miss Florence Leeds: "I exclaimed to reporters in Atlantic City: 'Let Mr. Stillman meet me on the steps of the Astor Public Library at 42d Street and Fifth Avenue (Manhattan) and we will tell our stories to the multitude. Then the world will see which is telling the truth!'"

Joseph Byrnes: Editor of the Barber's Journal: "I told the master barbers of Atlantic City: 'The time is close at hand when you will be forced to charge one dollar for a haircut.'"

Andrew J. Volstead, ex-congress-man from Minnesota: "Hearing that Governor Smith of New York had signed a repeal of the state prohibition act, I remarked: 'If I had been Governor, I would have vetoed it!'"

The Reverend William Lawrence Episcopal Bishop of Massachusetts: "I am 72 years old. I declared: 'Twenty years ago I helped to lead; ten years ago I thought I was keeping the pace; now I know that I am a back number.'"

The Duke of York: "The City of Glasgow has given me and my bride a wonderful clock which exhibits a procession of the royal family of 1804. But antiquaries point out, it it not as unique as a Hindu clock described as follows:

"The dial consists of a great gong, under which there are a certain number of human bones and skulls. When the hands point to one o'clock some of the bones unite to form a skeleton which--actuated by hidden mechanism--springs to its feet, seizes a wooden mallet and strikes the gong a single blow. The skeleton than collapses into pieces.

"At 2 o'clock two skeletons repeat the actions and at three o'clock three skeletons and so on till 12, when a dozen of these ghastly objects stand in a row and strike the gong in an uncanny burlesque of human actions!

"William G. McAdoo: "In a speech at Louisville, I exclaimed: 'Uncle Sam is howling for a Democratic doctor!'"

Senator Brookhart, dirt farmer: "Mrs. Mary Roberts Rinehart said in a recent interview: 'Now and then, as recently, some representative of "the people" comes to Washington without evening clothes, and declares he will not get any. He receives front page advertising as a result, but Washington does not even know he is here.'"

Gabriele d'Annunzio: " Arriving at a regatta, I found that the committee in charge had provided me with an easy chair but had furnished straight backed chairs for the other guests. Regarding this as a reflection on my age, I hurled the chair bodily into the lake. Now, I discover that the chair was a borrowed antique. The committee must fish it out."

Eleanora Duse, Italian actress, former friend of Gabriele d'Annun-zio : " Going to England, ill, and with a letter from the Italian government asking that I be shown every possible courtesy, I was cross-examined and forced to secure a permit from the Ministry of Labor before I was permitted to enter."

William D. Upshaw, Congressman from Georgia: " In a speech at a Baptist Church in Manhattan, I denounced ' wet Democrats of New York who shake hands like Herod and Pilate over the crucifixion of the 18th Amendment.' "

William T. Tilden, II: "My eyesight was temporarily impaired by an attack of conjunctivitis. Nevertheless, I won the Philadelphia Tennis Championship from Wallace F. Johnson."

Georges Clemenceau: "I attended a private showing of a moving picture based on my novel. After the exhibition I asked: 'Am I permitted to make comments'? 'Certainly.' 'It would be advisable, I think, to suppress the bad spelling in the sub-titles.' ' But they are the work of an Academician.' ' If you think,' I returned, ' that Academicians know how to spell, that only proves the solidity of a legend.'"

Al Jolson: "I received a letter which said: 'I repeat--there is but one Al Jolson!' and with it was a photograph of the writer--Warren G. Harding."

Major Ian Hay Beith ("Ian Hay"): "In a debate with Sinclair Lewis in London on Main Street and High Street, I declared that the English public likes a hero with aristocratic connections in these ultra-democratic days, not necessarily, a duke. But the American public like the self-made hero, who comes from the farm and devotes his life to creating panics on Wall Street."