Having perused well the chronicle of the week, the Vigilant Patriot views with alarm:

A Hamburger that teaches German children to "be themselves." (P. 18.)

" A juicy thug," hired in Paris, and the man that shot him dead. (P. 3.)

A scarcity of Pacific naval bases. (P. 3.)

" The most dangerous post in the world." (P. 11.)

The bawling, syncopated soubrette, whose only acquisition was a reputation in the divorce courts and a vulgar method of kicking. (P. 26.)

Rigorous Angora etiquette. (P. 11.)

Three wounded picadors; six dead matadors. (P. 24.)

An unpleasant chapter of Spanish history, bound in Morocco. (P. 11.)

Baby talk, a pair of pajamas, rasping argot, stolen bonds. (P. 16.)

An endless horde of graspers swooping down on the White House. (P. 2.)

Death--caused by a gust of wind and a lady's skirt. (P. 25.) Beetles, bugs, worms--insects new and old. Some attack chickens, some ruin putting. (P. 18.) Bandits on the Baltimore Pike. (P. 26.)