Having perused well the chronicle of the week, the Vigilant Patriot views with alarm:

Gentlemen who blow their noses with their fingers. (P. 14.)

A disgrace to the educated world. (P. 31.)

A newspaper of the plain people, by the plain people, for the plain people. (P. 27.)

A tax on tinned crabs. (P. 8.)

A monstrous, imperturbable tooth of granite, challenging the human race. (P. 17.)

Soft, woolly balls. They caused an American defeat. (P. 26.)

A crowd that got in the firemen's way. (P. 31.)

A slight attack of jaundice. (P. 26.)

The composure of a cobra and the face of six or seven madonnas. (P. 24.)

A general battle of fisticuffs, quelled by a sheriff. (P. 6.)

"Darkest Dallas." (P. 20.)

A minister who, if he were not a minister, would say: "To Hell with the Capitalist system." (P. 4.)

"A note filled with sophistry," "thousands of empty words," "fine words but a false heart." (P. 12.)

A jet black tomb, housing a red coffin." (P. 11.)