Records

Man has made a game of his long war with space. It gives him immense amusement and satisfaction, by virtue of some obscure mental deficiency, to measure the speed of his puny limbs against some unit of speed; such researches he terms "sport," tabulates his results with infinite precision, and rejoices preposterously whenever some new record is brought to his credit. Civilized women, because the width of their hips makes their walk an inevitable, though sometimes a graceful, waddle, have not contributed much to this imbecilic form of experimentation. Their speed upon cinders, earth, boards, is pathetic; on ice, or in the water, they do better. Last week in Pittsburgh, an unusually swift woman, Elsie Muller of Manhattan, broke the woman's indoor record for a mile on ice. Her time was 3 minutes 19 3-5 seconds.*

*Man's records for one mile:

Skating 2 min. 35 sec.

Swimming 22 min. 34 sec.

Running 4 min. 10 4/5 sec.

Bicycling 1 min. 4 1/5 sec.

Horse's records for one mile:

Racing 1 min. 35 2/5 sec.

Trotting 1 min. 56 3/4 sec.