"Carrots & Commissions"

Capt. Rt. Hon. Edward Algernon Fitzroy, M. P., diligent soldier, former Page of Honor to Queen Victoria, now a grizzled, crop-lipped campaigner with 25 years' service in the Conservative ranks, was led last week to the Chair of the House of Commons. Solemnly following the ritual, Capt. Fitzroy made "formal gestures of protest,'' shook his head, thrust out his arms pleadingly. Then, still in ritual, he abandoned formal gestures, sat upon the chair, and became for the second time and by unanimous vote, Speaker of the House of Commons, First Commoner of the Realm. As such he must wear periwig and gown at all meetings of Parliament, listen to debates, rule tactfully on parliamentary procedure. In return he has a stone palace overlooking the Thames to live in (a wing of the Houses of Parliament), a salary of $25,000 a year, a further allowance for "costumes and effects" of $5,000, and an annual present of a fat buck and a fat doe from His Majesty's Master of the Buckhounds.

The evening after Speaker Fitzroy was installed on his Chair, "Beefeaters" (Yeomen of the Guard) from the Tower of London marched through the cellars of Parliament. Carrying halberds and horn lanterns they poked in crannies, peered in corners. The purpose of this search was to look for Guy Fawkes, a gentleman who, one Nov. 4, tried to blow up Parliament, but who, to the comfort of present-day "Beefeaters," has been dead since 1606.

Satisfied that Guy Fawkes was not in the cellar, Parliament proceeded to open. For the first time since 1900, the Sovereign did not appear.

Among the first to arrive at the Members' Entrance was pepper-tongued Lady Nancy Astor, Virginia Conservative. Springing from her car before it had stopped she dashed into the building closely followed by Lt. Col. Sir Frederick Hall, a fellow Conservative. Both were intent on obtaining a certain comfortable corner seat on the Opposition benches. The instant the doors were opened, in they dashed with 40 other early arrivals. Lady Astor paused for an instant to take a card from an attendant with which to stake her seat. It was a fatal pause. Sir Frederick Hall kept going, got there first, plumped his panting form down upon the coveted seat and tried to look as though he had not been rude at all.

Soon the Commoners were summoned to the House of Lords to hear the Speech from the Throne. Seated on a bench before the empty throne were five noble representatives of the King in ermine and scarlet, like end men at a minstrel show. In their middle, was the Lord Chancellor, Sir John Sankey. Perhaps 50 Peers in ordinary morning clothes sat comfortably on their benches. Crowded behind the Bar of the Lords stood the Commoners. Thus once a year do the Lords of Britain put the Commoners in their places.

The five commissioners stared fixedly at the Commoners. In unison they slowly raised their black tricorn hats three times in greeting. Then Lord Chancellor Sankey read the King's speech, a speech which everybody knows is not written by the King at all but by the Prime Minister, a speech supposed to give the policies and promises of the new Government.

Short, MacDonald-George V speech was notably unexciting. Salient points:

Reparations. The Experts' report from Paris was "being considered." Rhineland evacuation was in sight.

Naval Reductions. "Conversations have commenced . . . earnest hope. . . ."

Unemployment. "Schemes are being prepared for improvement of transport, stimulation of the depressed export trades, economic development of overseas dependencies.

"My Government has under consideration the question of reorganization of the coal industry including hours and other factors, and of ownership of minerals."

Liquor. "My ministers decided that the time has come to investigate the whole field of legislation relating to sale and supply of intoxicating liquor. . . ."

Electoral Reform. "My Government proposes to institute an examination of experiences of the election so that the working of the law relating to parliamentary elections may be brought into conformity with new conditions."

The speech was as notable for what it did not say as for what it said. No actual date was given for the calling of another naval reductions conference. There was no mention of Prime Minister MacDonald's proposed visit to Washington. Government operation of the coal mines was barely hinted. The only unexpected parts were the paragraphs referring to the appointment of a liquor commission, a sop to such ultra-dry Laborites as Philip Snowden; and a proposed commission to investigate proportional representation in elections, a peace offering to the Liberals.

London's Evening Standard aptly summed up the entire speech with the headline: CARROTS AND COMMISSIONS. "Commissions to investigate everything; carrots to keep the Liberal 'moke' [donkey] at a hopeful and useful trot for as long as Labor has need of it.''