Quantico's Quandary

An old campaigner is Major General Smedley Darlington Butler. His great campaign (1924-25) as Director of the Philadelphia Department of Public Safety was cut short when politicians decided that his drying-up tactics were somewhat too robust. Last week, as Commander of the Quantico (Va.) Marine base, he launched another campaign when he discovered one of his non-commissioned officers tending bar for a Quantico village bootlegger. He prohibited his enlisted men from going to the village. Frantic merchants, losing lucrative soldier trade, appealed to the General. He retorted dourly that he would parade his men back to town in a body-after "bootlegging and lawlessness had been stamped out."

Calling out his entire command, planting one foot on a barracks porch railing, scowling his world-famed scowl, the General made a speech. "You birds," he said,"took an oath some time ago to defend the Constitution. Don't let the news stun you, but the Prohibition law is part of it."

He reposed his elbow on his knee, shoved his cap over to an effectively hard-boiled angle, and went on: "I understand that there is some difference of opinion among civilians concerning the right and wrong of prohibition. Some of it got into camp, but those on the negative side are in the brig. It's a closed question to the military, so as long as you wear those uniforms, don't get opinionated."

Quantico's Mayor and stationmaster, A. E. Mclnteer, summoned the town council. Theirs was a quandary with only one exit. Without bootleggers, life in Quantico would be dull. But without Marines there would be no life at all. Station-Master Mclnteer got into his new blue roadster and sped to neighboring towns to borrow warrants. After a short, intense campaign he reported to General Butler that the last "big" bootlegger had left town. Merchants dusted off their stock, waited anxiously for the sound of the band leading the Marines back to Quantico.

In San Francisco, 5,000 resolute feminine socialites agreed to ignore all invitations to liquor-livened social functions. If they should happen on an unconstitutional party unaware, however, they conceded they would stay, but not drink.

In Lansing, Mich., state officials calculated, on returns from Michigan's new malt tax, that 109,000,000 gal. of beer were brewed last year in Michigan tubs and wash-boilers, enough to provide 174 bottles for every man, woman and child.