Rate Encounters

Along the battlefront of the Tariff War last week ran the clatter of musketry as Senate soldiers tussled for the first time over actual rates. There was so much scampering back and forth between the lines that at times it was hard to tell on which side a Senator was really fighting.

The Democratic-Insurgent Republican coalition first held a special caucus-of-war at the headquarters of Field Marshal Simmons. They decided to reverse their strategy of last Spring limiting tariff fighting only to the Farm Lowlands. They consented to give the regular Republicans battle all along the tariff line, with a view to beating down with their rifle butts all industrial rates that dared pop their heads above the present trench level.

Under Brevet-Brigadier La Follette, the Coalition troops marched forth to open their attack at Chemical Corner, behind which they thought lurked the Dye Trust. ' Their first day's assault was successful. Five Republican generals (Couzens, Jones of Washington, Glenn, Robinson of Indiana, Thomas of Idaho), were made prisoners. The regular Republicans were driven back to the 1913 (Underwood Tariff) line in the gallic acid segment and were hustled out of their trenches (45 to 33) in the tannic acid sector.

Flushed with victory, the coalition troopers pushed on toward Calcium Carbide-ville, only to suffer a bad reverse on the barbed wire entanglements of the Power Trust. (Power companies supply electricity to manufacture calcium in plants widely scattered over the U. S.) Thirteen Democrats with power or carbide plants in their States broke ranks in the face of the enemy, refused to charge. The assault to halve the ifz'-per-lb. rate was repulsed by the regular Republicans (42 to 37).

Coalition ranks reformed, pressed on to Casein Creek. (Casein is a skimmed milk by-product of large industrial value.) Battle lines crumbled weakly as the attackers swept through to double the rate (2 1/2-c- to 5 1/2-c- per lb.). Farmers cheered lustily and manufacturers of waterproof paints, glue, coated paper, groaned with despair.

Up the other side of this tariff schedule rushed the coalition army, skirting the coal tar salient temporarily lest it be treacherously mined, but forcing ergot and crude chicle on the free list. Democratic Senator Steck of Iowa, weary from running from side to side in fighting, insisted that the tariff campaign promises of both parties must be thoroughly fulfilled.

A brief hold-up occurred over hexamethylenetetramine (derivative of formaldehyde and ammonia used in medicine and vulcanized rubber) when Generalissimo Smoot could not pronounce it. Ink rates fell suddenly with a great black splash over the regulars. Epsom salts collapsed feebly under the jabbing attack of the Coalition.