A. P. Antic

Oldtime journalists have almost stopped marvelling at the antics and contortions of the Associated Press, for a generation grave, factual and colorless under its late great Founder President Melville Elijah Stone; since 1925 jazzed and "rejuvenated" under General Manager Kent Cooper. But last week oldtimers got one more startle. An Associated Press despatch from Evanston, 111., reported that a blonde girl had sold to housewives some "lily bulbs" which proved, after a week in water, to be stones. Peculiarities of the report were its complete omission of names and its precious form. It was written in something approximating rhymed couplets. The first stanza-paragraph rhymed "sundry" with "money." The third did better, rhyming "money" with "sunny." The fifth and final stanza, typical of the rest, read as follows:

"They up and told police. Complaints were made in flocks. Police found that the 'lily bulbs' were nothing more than rocks."