Conference Asides

Reijiro Wakatsuki, Chief Japanese delegate is properly called "Mr. Wakatsky," the "u" being silent.

"I wish to see Mr. Wakatsooky," said Foreign Minister Aristide Briand of France.

"He is out," said the Japanese doorman, "You will have to wait."

Statesman Briand waited fuming in the hall, and Statesman Wakatsuki, who had been expecting him, stamped about impatiently in his office for 30 minutes. It was then discovered that the doorman had understood M. Briand to ask for one Wakasugi, a Japanese underling who does pronounce the "u" in this name.

Andre Tardieu, Prime Minister of France, came also to seek M. Wakatsuki.

"I wish to see Mr. Wakatsky," said Tardieu forewarned by Briand.

"And who are you?" asked the alert doorman. "What paper do you represent?"

"Je represent," said the Prime Minister crushingly, "La Republique Franc,aise."

"Um," retorted the doorman, unimpressed, as he got out a large book, "say that again please, a little slower."

"JE RE-PRESENT," shouted Tardieu, furious, "LA REPUBLIQUE FRANC,AISE!"

"I am sorry," said the doorman after searching carefully through his big book, "but I cannot find the newspaper you say you represent on our list. We have L'Action Franc,aise, but not La Republique Franc,aise."

Will Rogers, newsclown, cabled that he had lunched with Ambassador Dawes, then dined at the embassy after asking that a list of the other guests be first submitted to him as though he were royalty. He also said: "I sat right next to the wives of our delegation [at the opening of the conference]. . . . Mrs. Morrow was telling me what an awful fine son-in-law Lindbergh had turned out to be. . . . When Mr. Stimson said we will stay here till the world disarms, his wife says, 'My Lord!' "

Spoofy though all this sounded, it was fact: Clown Rogers had lunched and dined at the embassy, had sat with Mrs. Morrow and Mrs. Stimson, is accorded large license everywhere at the conference. One Rogersgram announced that the conference had spent "one solid week of doing nothing but attempting to pronounce the Japanese delegate Wakatsuki's name. Next week the agenda calls for the pronunciation of the Frenchmen's names."

Poupette Gautier, chic unmarried personal secretary to Prime Minister Andre Tardieu, showed pique at the acclaim London papers continued to bestow on Statesman Stimson's "beauty chorus of typists." "Well, we French typists haven't any fur coats like the wonderful Americans," said Poupette, "but we came here to type reports and we shall type reports. One might think to read the papers that this was a style show!"

Georges Mathieu, official interpreter at The Hague as well as the London conference, was asked, "How many languages do you know?"

"One and three-quarters," quipped he. "I think I can claim to speak good English, but I am sometimes careless in French, my own tongue."

"How do you translate swear words?"

"Once at a recent conference in Paris I was called upon to translate into French the remarks of a great English statesman who observed, 'What that fellow says is a damned lie!'

"I translated: 'The statement just made by my honorable colleague does not quite coincide with the facts as I know them.' But the Englishman understood French a little and he interrupted, 'Tell them I said it was a damn lie!' "

The Tower of London caught fire. Slight, the blaze was soon put out.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.