Record

In Jamestown, N. Y., James C. Norton urged a beetle 617 times round the brim of a derby hat. Said he: "I guess I got the record."

Tattoo

In Moelln, Germany. A. Sybold, dismayed at repeated beatings from his young wife, tied her to a bed, tattooed her thoroughly in six colors, ran away.

Cornerstone

In Manhattan, Bloomingdale Bros. proudly supervised the laying of a cornerstone for their new store. Enclosed in the cornerstone were: a baseball autographed by Babe Ruth; a roll of ticker-tape; a horseshoe; a pair of eyeglasses; some sheet music; a telephotograph of Charles A. Lindbergh and wife; a wedding ring; several hundred flower seeds; a copy of the Congressional Record; a subway strap; some newspapers; a forecast of the future by Florenz ("Follies") Ziegfeld.

Improved

In Miami, Fla., a Judge Thompson granted certain Negroes, who averred that they wished to "improve social, religious, educational and moral conditions," permission to call themselves The Improved Pallbearers of America.

Lasso

In Clementon, N. J., Harry Blackley accused Nicholas Poland of stealing his chickens with a lasso.

Fisher

In Chicago, Leslie Merion attached a fishhook to a stick, reached through a window, hooked a thousand dollar bond off a clerk's desk, was arrested.

Thicket

In a thicket near Brentwood, L. I., workmen discovered a skeleton, identified it by a repeater watch as that of Henry Lot Norton, onetime waterworks official of Jamaica, who disappeared eight years ago, died of exposure in a thunder storm.

Al & Pal

In Seattle, Al Lindberg stole some turkeys from his pal, Axel Quist. Axel Quist thumped Al Lindberg. Al Lindberg had Axel Quist haled into court. Ordered to pay a fine, Axel Quist said to Al Lindberg; "Say, old pal, lend me $25 to pay my fine, will you?" Al Lindberg then loaned Axel Quist $25.

Boys

In Manhattan, small boys threw sticks at Paul Goldstein and Murray Liebowitz who were rowing on a lake in Central Park. Annoyed, Murray Liebowitz and Paul Goldstein went ashore, chased the small boys, found that their sticks were dynamite, of which they had stolen a large box.

Vagrant

In Bromley, England, police arrested a Ramsay McDonald for vagrancy.

Tramp

In Springfield, Mass., 16 years ago, a tramp asked Mrs. John Newton for a sandwich. She gave him a plate of soup, some of her husband's clothes, 50-c-. Last week, the tramp, Eugene Stanford died, willed Mrs. John Newton $30,000.

Dirty

In Shanghai, Dyung Kyong-Sung was discharged by his master for failing to wash behind his ears. Enraged, Dyung Kyong-Sung killed his master's dog, stole his clothes, was sent to prison for six months.

"Bing"

In Lumberton, N. C., "Bing" Frank Wishart thus announced his candidacy for sheriff of Robeson County: "I hereby announce myself for sheriff of Robeson County, subject to the Democratic primary in June. My platform will be:

"I shall not go out to make any arrests in bad weather, when it's raining or cold and disagreeable.

"I will not make a raid on any man's whiskey still, or search a bootlegger's premises without first notifying them 48 hours in advance.

"I am in favor of disposing of all captured whiskey as follows: Meeting the requirements of the sheriff and his deputies, the remainder to be turned over to the aged and infirm at the county home.

The only reason I am running for sheriff is the salary.

"If I am defeated in the June primary, I promise to run on an independent ticket

"Your vote and help will be appreciated, and I promise to carry out the platform to the 'letter.' "

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