Value

In Brooklyn, Muriel Josephine Fox, 17, disappeared from the home of her mother who offered a reward of $50 for Muriel's return alive, $100 for her return dead.

Spitz

In Manhattan, Herman Kaminsky, 12, James Madison, blackamoor, and a small Spitz dog appeared in court.

Said Herman Kaminsky: "I lost him six months ago. His name is Tootsie."

Said James Madison: "This dog belonged to my father. His name is Fudgy."

Set loose, the Spitz dog licked the boy's face, the blackamoor's hands. Said the magistrate to Herman Kaminsky: "Take him home."

Boy

Irf Evanston, Ill., Robert Smith, 13, wondered if he could drop a lighted match through the small hole of a manhole cover over a sewer. He succeeded. The sewer gas exploded, blew Robert Smith aloft.

Boys

At Fall River, Mass., Janitor John T. Tinney of the Borden Continuation School (for girls only) found two boys taking baths, another baking cake for breakfast, a fourth with pockets full of stolen lead pencils.

Groom

In Woodbury, N. J., Charles Riley, 32, jobless, killed his bride for going to work in a shirt factory.

Sweetheart

At Chicago, Earl Holmes prepared to marry Anne Larsen, sweetheart of Frank Fabarula, gangster. Fabarula, with two cronies, one a twice imprisoned policeman, kidnaped Holmes, tried to hang him to a tree. Three law-abiding policemen stopped them.

Patrolman

In Manhattan, Patrolman Rudolph Richter, 26, shot himself in the left lung, because "when I walk in the street people stare at me."

Fisherman

In Augusta, Me., Harold D. Jennings, treasurer of Central Maine Power Co., president of the city aldermen, was fishing for smelt. A salmon ate his bait. He had no license to catch salmon, yelled to S. Sewell Webster, city clerk, nearby, to make him out a salmon-catching license, got it, hauled in his salmon.

Swimmer

In Flushing, L. I., Mrs. Ulrika Sperling celebrated her 85th birthday with a discourse on swimming, announced that as soon as it was warm enough she would jump in the ocean as usual.

Panhandler

In Pittsburgh one James Plunkett, 52, panhandler, begged Harry Westbrook, 90, for a dime. Westbrook gave him 25-c-. Plunkett demanded more. Westbrook took off Plunkett's eyeglasses, felled him with a smart blow on the jaw.

Fu-wee

In Manhattan, two old Chinese, Eng Loy, 51, and his cousin Eng Fu-wee, 62, retired to their room. Eng Loy asked for a blanket. Eng Fu-wee refused to give him one. Eng Loy grabbed the blanket. Eng Fu-wee hit Eng Loy with a meat cleaver. Eng Loy found a meat cleaver and hit Eng Fu-wee.

When separated, half an hour later, both were covered with blood, both had had their skulls fractured many times. Doctors said Eng Loy might not live. Eng Fu-wee soon died.

Madman

At Columbus, Ohio, Ambrose Moss, 31, brawny Negro, was committed last week for the third time to the State Hospital for the Insane. With a table he smashed the skulls of Sylvester Shannon, 27, and Frank T. Wilson, 52, both inmates. Attendants broke his neck.

Mustache

In Pittsburgh, three of his confreres seized Matt Rosky, scraped off his trifling mustache. Enraged, Matt Rosky hailed his confreres into court, had them pay him $100 cash.

Beard

In Fredonia, Iowa, five youths seized Mayor Jerry Vandyke, cut off the whiskers he had cultivated for many years. Perturbed, Mayor Vandyke had the boys sentenced to attend Sunday school once a week for a year.

Teeth

In Loami, Ill., W. H. Workman, 68, carved himself a set of false teeth from a hickory plank. Once a month he soaks them in olive oil.

Darling

In Cassopolis, Mich., one F. A. Darling organized a club for lovers of Limburger cheese. Articles of incorporation, surmounted by a facsimile cheese, were promptly filed. "Aromas" (meetings) of the "bricks" (lodges) will henceforth be "deodorized" (adjourned) only by order of the "Grand Big Cheese" (F. A. Darling).

Catsup

In Harlem, N. Y., Thomas Allen, 45, was eating in a coffee pot.* The waiter took his catsup away. Eater Allen went for the waiter with a pocket knife. John Christor, proprietor, shot angry Allen dead.

Tacks

In Colorado Springs, Colo., J. W. Hartman, 32, airmobile repairer, swallowed ten sharp upholstery tacks which he had forgotten were in his mouth.

*Cheap quick lunch emporium, usually greasy and smelly; frequently called a "greasy spoon."

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.