The Crown

P: Eager to embrace the middle-aged man who says he is George V's natural nephew (TIME, Dec. 25), a bevy of fashionably dressed English women turned up in London's famed Old Bailey last week and were kissed in impartial rotation by Prisoner Clarence Guy Gordon-Haddon before he entered the dock.

"His mother thought she had been secretly married in India to the Duke of Clarence [George V's late elder brother]." explained Defense Lawyer Lloyd Jones. "Indeed I believe she was imprisoned in India during the visit of King George, then Prince of Wales, in 1906, quite possibly because she expressed her views regarding the Duke of Clarence. ... I have advised my client to plead guilty."

"I am sure that is very good advice." beamed Mr. Justice Charles.

"I plead guilty," gulped Prisoner Gordon-Haddon, "under extreme provocation!"

Two -L-100-bonds were then put up as surety that Mr. Gordon-Haddon "will abstain from claiming to be the son of the Duke of Clarence or causing or encouraging others so to affirm."

Dismissing the prisoner, Mr. Justice Charles said almost shyly: "May I, dropping the judge for a minute and as one man to another, appeal to you to put this maggot out of your brain and try to be a happy fellow? You are man enough to do it. Unless you wish to end in a madhouse, the sooner you depart from the belief you have been nurturing in your brain the belter."

"Yes, My Lord,'' said Gordon-Haddon, and departed with the women.

P: Prince George, youngest son of Their Majesties, whom South American women called "far more handsome than the Prince of Wales and a better dancer," sailed from England for South Africa last week without his elder brother. If Prince George strikes the fancy of any of the dominions to which he is going, King George--it is no Court secret--will appoint him its Governor General.

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