The Royal Family

The British Industries Fair last week: News cameramen have just snapped the Queen Mother, King & Queen, Duke & Duchess of Kent and are turning away as the Princess Royal arrives.

KING GEORGE to cameramen: "Come on, boys! Take another picture!"

A SALESMAN to His Majesty (after Queen Elizabeth has purchased three dozen pairs of silk stockings and walked on a short distance) : "May I show you these stockings, sir? Now you'll know them when the bill comes in. Thank you, sir."

LORD DERBY meditatively, as His Majesty examines a sea-otter pelt priced at -L-750 ($5,750) : ''I once had a sea-otter collar on an overcoat."

A MEMBER OF THE ROYAL PARTY: "Yes, sea-otter is only within the means of Lord Derby and American millionaires."

THE KING: "That's good! I must remember that."

(A Brooklyn cutlery buyer and his wife have been espied by Queen Mary buying cutlery.)

THE QUEEN MOTHER: "How do you do? I have been informed you are American buyers, and I am certainly glad to meet you here."

This becomes an international front-page sensation for several days as the Brooklynites trip over each other in contradictory stories about "how we met the whole gosh-darned Royal Family all at once--not even Mrs. Simpson ever did that!" They agree that Queen Elizabeth asks practical questions, that the Duchess of Kent is a raving beauty, that King George finally turns from them to ask his Royal Family: "How about having lunch?"

HIS MAJESTY, fingering a ready-made hat, to an equerry: "You know that's one thing I can't buy in the whole world-- a ready-made hat."

This is because the head of George VI is of unusually long and narrow oval shape.

AN OFFICIAL of the ready-made hat firm, bustling forward: "In the near future Your Majesty should have no cause for complaint!"

Several evenings later at Albert Hall the Queen Mother is told that a little girl has asked, "Did you say the Queen Mary has come, mummy? How can a great big ship like that get into Albert Hall?" Amused, the Queen Mother sends for the little girl, gives her a carnation from Her Majesty's corsage.

Meanwhile in Birmingham, the separate Heavy Industry Section of the British Fair is inspected without incident by the Duke and Duchess of Gloucester.

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