In Case of Spies

If all spies in Russia employed by foreign governments would please come forward and confess, it would help things enormously. This simple suggestion was earnestly put forth last week by Pravda ("Truth"), official newspaper of Dictator Joseph Stalin.

Pravda explained: "It is only necessary to understand that any commission of error or act, even a heavy crime, if admitted and not hidden, if brought to the knowledge of organs of Soviet power, constitutes much smaller guilt than a secret agreement with the enemy for fulfillment of espionage commissions."

To loyal Soviet citizens, Pravda gave a lesson in how to foil spies:

1) Eschew mysterious blonde ladies, particularly when traveling in foreign countries. Most of them have mysterious husbands who burst into bedrooms inopportunely, badger innocent Communists into selling State secrets.

2) Leave no brief cases around, no matter how innocent their contents. Villainous spies frequently slip incriminating documents into them, then threaten to peach unless the luckless Russian joins the organization.

3) Accept no favors from foreigners, no matter how innocent. Spies' first efforts in Russia are to insinuate themselves into Communist homes, later compromise their hosts.

4) Give up all secret vices. The German secret police keep a file on Soviet citizens, all neatly classified under such headings as "fondness for drink," "political instability," "late hours," "dishonesty and moral perversions."

The Soviet Government last week dangled a pretty prize before faithful Communists. Until recently it was almost as hard for a Russian to leave the Soviet as for a prisoner to escape from Sing Sing, but lately authorities have felt that conditioning of the young has advanced to the point where a certain amount of contact with the bourgeois world will be safe. For 500 hand-picked Soviet citizens there has been rumored a three-week excursion to France, Russia's one big ally, and a visit to the Paris Exposition. This will cost the workers 5,000 rubles each (officially about $1,000) and will include all expenses. In Paris the Comrades will receive 100 francs (about $4.50) fun money.

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