Monday, Nov. 01, 1937
"TIME brings all things."
Twin Changes
In Los Angeles, Lois and Louise Coats, 24, identical twins, last October obtained interlocutory divorce decrees from two marines, Ray and Roy Sebring, identical twins. In December, Twins Coats married Herbert and Hubert Sharp, identical twins. Last fortnight Twins Coats obtained twin annulments from Twins Sharp on grounds that they married before their divorces were final, announced they would meet Twins Sebring in Bremerton, Wash., when they returned from duty in Honolulu, would remarry Twins Sebring, would set out on twin honeymoons to Twins Sebring's and Twins Coats' home town Oneida, Kan.
Post Offices
At Enough, Mo., the town post office was discontinued. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch promptly editorialized deploring the loss, hoping post offices in Missouri would not be discontinued at Huzzah, Ink, Useful, Novelty, Peculiar, Wisdom, Ponder, Aid, Braggadocio.
Ruse
In Philadelphia, the city zoo acquired two Komodo lizards from the Dutch East Indies, tried to feed them raw hamburger, found they would eat only eggs. The keepers forthwith filled empty eggshells with raw hamburger, fed them to the dragon-lizards, found they didn't know the difference.
Wave
Over Alabama, Major Lewis A. Dayton, piloting an army plane, waved his hand. Behind him Private Frank Strozier saw the wave. The major flew on, landed at Valparaiso, Fla. aghast to find no Private Strozier in his ship. Then the phone rang. Over the wire came Private Strozier's voice, "You wiggled your hand. I thought the plane was on the blink. I bailed out." Said the major, "I was cold. I wanted you to close the cockpit, not empty it."
Amnesia
In Chicago, a doctor committed to Woodlawn Hospital a well-dressed young man who could answer questions in English, French, German, and Spanish; could not answer his name in any language.
Crash
In Morristown, N. J., Mrs. Walter E. Wilke drove her car into a tree. She backed off, drove on. A policeman noticed the car weaving, leaped on the running board, pulled the emergency brake, hospitalized Mrs. Wilke who complained of a pain in her neck. Shortly, Mrs. Wilke died of her broken neck.
Poem
In Muncie, Ind., Leonard A. Paris' weekly column in the Morning Star set tongues a-clacking with a poem, supposedly by an illiterate hired girl:
"I ain' been syko-anilised
An truthful it may be
That what goes on inside my bed
Wood startel even me."
Contrite, Columnist Paris explained that a printer had mistaken an "h" for a ''b."
Ransom
In Streetsville, Ont., the body of Hayden Pope, 2O-year-old son of the local blacksmith, was dug from its grave the night after burial. In the empty coffin was left a note demanding $100 ransom. Two days later, before horrified Father Pope had a chance to pay, a group of children found Hayden Pope's corpse in a ditch by the roadside.
Insomnia
In Los Angeles, the State Bureau of Furniture and Bedding Inspection was summoned by a man who suffered from insomnia, to complain about his newly restuffed mattress. Inspectors ripped open the mattress, found it had been restuffed with a five-pound slab of concrete, four old suits of underwear.
Parting
In Cleveland, Valentine Kokoszka and wife lived together without speaking for eight years. Mrs. Valentine Kokoszka got a divorce, went back to live in his house. One morning the next week Valentine Kokoszka failed to appear for breakfast. Mrs. Valentine Kokoszka went to search for him, found brokenhearted Valentine Kokoszka had hanged himself in a closet.
Sleep
In Manhattan, an insurance agent went to collect a premium from Mrs. Alice Cahill, was received by her five children (the oldest 11-year-old twins), was told mother was asleep. The agent went to look for himself, found Mrs. Alice Cahill had been dead for more than 24 hours. Said Michael, 9: "She slept so much we just didn't think anything of it."
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