"Names make news." Last week these names made this news:

When his 61-year-old wife appeared in a high-crowned hat, John Nance Garner declared: "It makes you look like a flapper."

Sitting on a hosiery patent infringement suit, Bachelor-Associate Justice James Clark McReynolds asked: "What does 'full-fashioned' mean?" Answered Benedict-Associate Justice Owen Josephus Roberts: "It means that a stocking is made to fit the contours of the leg."

To charity will go an unnamed sum received by the Duke of Windsor in settlement of the libel suit he had brought against Publisher William Heinemann and Author Geoffrey Dennis, whose Coronation Commentary, the Duke's attorney said, had "repeated the rumor that the lady who is now the plaintiff's wife occupied before his marriage to her the position of his mistress." Announcing settlement of the suit, Baron Hewart, Lord Chief Justice of England, suggested that the Duke might "almost" be justified in laying upon Author Dennis a "thoroughly efficacious horsewhip."

George Bernard Shaw scribbled on a postcard, "Plays of that author do not attract me; I never go to one if I can possibly help it," sent the postcard to Welwyn Garden City, Herts, England, where he had been invited to attend a performance of his Saint Joan.

To the Daughters of American Revolution in Washington, Indiana's Representative Virginia Ellis Jenckes clarioned: "If we were alert in the maintenance of true national defense we would, through proper legal action, root up every Japanese cherry tree on Federal property, saw them up for firewood, and replant them with American cherry trees." That day will mark a precedent Which brings no news of Rockwell Kent.

Same day the New Yorker appeared with the above ditty, Author Kent was reported arriving in Puerto Rico, where his Washington Post Office Building mural, embellished with an Eskimo message to Puerto Ricans ("Go ahead. Let us change chiefs''), made him a minor hero among Nationalists. At San Juan Mr. Kent offered to testify in the trial of eleven Nationalists charged with killing a policeman, warded off requests for a statement by declaring "If I made one, I'd make it in Eskimo," prepared to sail on to South America.

In Washington, Administrator John David Biggers sent out the first batch of his 85,000,000 unemployment census report cards. In Toledo, Mr. Diggers' Libbey-Owens-Ford announced plans to close down four of its plants (Reason: oversupply of glass), turning 900 workers into 900 unemployed.

His Royal Highness Prince Amedeo of Savoy, Duke of Aosta, 39, and cousin of King-Emperor Vittorio Emanuele III, was appointed by Benito Mussolini last week to be Viceroy of Ethiopia, replacing bomb-wounded Marshal Rodolfo Graziani (TIME, March i, April 5).

Speaking to a group of army cooking experts at England's military training ground, Aldershot, Leslie Hore-Belisha, Britain's bachelor Secretary of State for War, said: "I hope you men will spread a love of cooking to your wives, because my own requirements in that respect are so exacting that I have never been able to find a wife to come up to that standard." Cracked a Tommy: "Join the army!"

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.