Government Howdy-Do

An army on the march! . . . One hundred and twenty thousand strong, marching one by one during the month of April to millions of city homes and country farms--catting on you at your door, and yours, and yours--to gather vital information that enables you to know your nation! One half as large as the standing army of the United States, this is the peacetime army of census takers. . . . You can't know your country unless your country knows you!

This is a typical howdy-do from Uncle Sam Calling, eight-week radio series now planted on 662 U. S. radio stations by the U. S. Census Bureau. Many a censusee does not like the prospect of being asked, and having to answer, a raft of Nosy Parker questions: whether he has a bathroom, a mortgage; where he lived five years ago (for an insight into migrant labor), his race (which most anthropologists say is unanswerable), whether he has been on WPA, CCC, NYA, etc. For the first time in history, the April census will also ask the "amount of money wages or salary received (including commissions) during twelve months ending December 31, 1939."

Last week this income question, after months of dressing down by public defenders of private rights, was placed on the docket of the Senate Commerce Committee.

Meanwhile, Uncle Sam Calling, with a cast of characters including Census Taker ("bright, cheerful"); friendly Farmer John Dawson, survivor of five nosy censuses; Mrs. Virginia Boswell, "attractive young homemaker"; sundry objectors, alarmists, was on the air with soothing Government answers. The soothe:

> Each census taker will have learned a little etiquette. Census questions can be answered in 15 minutes, housing survey questions in ten more. In most cases (75% in cities and towns) the questions will be answered by the woman of the house. For refusing to answer, the penalty can be $100 fine or 60 days in jail. For intentionally giving false information, $500 or a year. For census takers who gossip: up to $2,000 fine, or five years in jail. Census dossiers are available to no one but the censusee and the Census Bureau. Reassuring note to balky censusees: "You're just a statistic."

> To the much-mooted income question, those who can do so truthfully may reply: "Over $5,000." Purpose of the question: to determine the U. S. capacity for buying the more essential commodities of U. S. living standards.

> Some of the nosiest questions are oldtimers. The mortgage question was asked first under Benjamin Harrison. Rent was a Hoover question. In 1850, under Taylor, and later under Buchanan and Grant, a full accounting of all possessions, real and personal, was required. As rock-ribbed old Farmer Dawson says: "This census business started away back with the Constitution. . . . If people start complainin' about there bein' too many census questions . . . tell 'em . . . about Dan'l Boone. . . . If Dan'l Boone was livin' today, he'd be so tarnation mad . . . he'd probably have apoplexy. . . . Why, man, they'd make him get a nonresident huntin'-license in every State . . . he'd have to learn what game was in season . . . the game warden would probably catch him poachin' . . . with bass out of season or some other fish smaller than the law allows. The forest rangers would grab him for buildin' fires in the woods. . . . They'd run old Dan'l Boone plumb crazy. . . .

"And the funny part about it, every one of those laws that would be so gallin' to Dan'l Boone is a good law. . . . As the racehorse said about the bumblebee, it helped."

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