Monday, Apr. 22, 1940
Three Against Incumbent
For eight years, Illinois' Congressman Edwin Martin Schaefer, usually camouflaged in a brown suit, has slipped in & out of the House chamber as inconspicuously as hot air. Never has he made a speech. With the rest of his State's delegation he sits quietly in a corner known locally as "Little Chicago.'' His opponents say he is often not even technically there, but up in Minnesota fishing. This year he comes up for reelection. Simply to harry inoffensive Congressman Schaefer, who just wants to be let alone, three candidates challenged him for the Democratic nomination in Illinois' 22nd District:
> Nimblest of the three disturbers of the Schaefer peace was Shack-Dweller Henry Frees, a onetime acrobat, who once used an $800 settlement for an injury to his arm to run for mayor of Belleville, Ill. He lost both the $800 and the election, went back to his shack. Emerging as a Congressional candidate, Mr. Frees stood on his head while he made campaign speeches, promised, if elected, to do backflips up the Capitol steps. His resounding advice to Congressman Schaefer: "If he doesn't play golf I think he should ought to learn. In case fishing was bad, he could pass his time away easier without having to worry so much about something to do."
> Less agile than Acrobat Frees was A. L. Bedel, built like the beer barrels he formerly inspected for the U. S. Government. To attract crowds he hired "The Great Chandu," a magician. A Chandu come-on: to tear up a picture of a bass, unfold the torn bits to exhibit an intact picture of a bigger bass, and announce: "If you like this trick, vote for Bedel instead of the fish."
> Third candidate was George E. Hary, ex-promoter of a softball game in which the players were (at least temporarily) mounted on goats. Mr. Hary declared he was going to write a story entitled Where Were You, Mr. Schaefer, When?, climaxed a strenuous campaign by renting a hall over a saloon on Saturday night before election, promising to talk until the opening of the polls Tuesday morning. When he ran out of topics, Mr. Hary sang The Little Man Who Wasn't There, which he dedicated to Congressman Schaefer. Still whispering after 52 hours, Candidate Hary slumped down exhausted in the nearly empty hall, went to sleep.
Meantime Congressman Schaefer put his trust in the Democratic machine and stayed in Washington. Last week, when Illinois went to the polls, his quiet faith was vindicated. Inconspicuous Mr. Schaefer had won again, needed only to beat Republican Nominee Calvin D. Johnson to be assured of peace & quiet for another two years.
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