Hobo

In Goldendale, Wash., Brakeman Ed Barnard invited a hobo riding atop his freight train to join him in his warm caboose. "No thanks," replied the hobo. "I've got my radio rigged up here. It won't work inside."

Grounds

In Granite City, Ill., a Baptist preacher declined to accept a 127-10-121 no-confidence vote from his flock. Grounds: many of his supporters were absent hunting.

Thanksgiving

In Eureka, Calif., Rudy Reidel paid $3.65 for a turkey, took it home, extracted a $4.86 gold nugget from its crop.

Surely

In Aiken, S. C., a draft board considered the case of a registrant named Kindly Draft.

Fighting Man

In Louisville, Ky., a naval recruit was rejected because of a nude woman tattooed on his arm. Two days later he reappeared. On the girl was a bathing suit. Accepting the application, Lieut. Commander C. R. Woodson said: "He showed perseverance and resourcefulness."

Sundae

In Hanover, N. H., Dartmouth undergrads gorged on "fifth-down sundaes," which featured five scoops of ice cream.

Lame Buck Private

In Creston, Iowa, defeated for County Auditor, Democrat William McLaughlin enlisted in the Army, declared: "This is one way I can get a job."

Proxy

In London, the Supply Ministry got a check for -L-46/15/6 ($188.85) from the citizens of Simeloengoen, Sumatra, for "a bomb to be dropped fairly and squarely upon some objective in Germany."

Flora Politico

In Golconda, Ill., Mrs. Jake Eichorn's cactus, which usually blooms on Thanksgiving Day, bloomed a week early. Mrs. Eichorn is a registered Democrat.

Kultur

In London, where bombs destroyed much of the big University College library, one of the first books salvaged was a History of German Culture.

Bughouse

In Miami, Fla., a woman told M. C. Mann she would buy his house if he got rid of termites, recommended an "exterminator." After crawling under the porch for half an hour, the man demanded $40. Mann paid. He is still waiting for the customer.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.