Hair-Conditioned. In Calgary, Alberta, Barber Nat Marbach had his garage insulated, with nearly a year's savings of his customers' shorn locks.

Sleep. In Los Angeles, the parents of weary Thomas Hall, 21, left him at home asleep, returned several hours later, found that a 100-ft. tree had crashed through the house into the living room. Thomas was still asleep. In Salt Lake City, the Edward G. Thomas family slept undisturbed while somebody stole a ton of coal from their coal shed.

Gun Maul. In New Orleans, a cat scratched Mrs. Julian Hebert, who grabbed a revolver, gave chase, tripped over her son. The gun went off, shot the son in the knee. Mrs. Hebert threw the gun into the back yard, where it went off again, shot Mrs. Hebert in the foot. The cat escaped.

Clean Breast. In The Bronx, an orphanage head heard that his bookkeeper had been drinking, asked him abruptly: "How long has this been going on?" Said the man: "Six months." Asked the employer: "How much?" Answer: "About $1,500." It turned out that the book keeper had been embezzling.

Convention. In Salt Lake City, Utah's G.A.R. held its 60th annual convention, nominated Ira Stormes, 96, for the organization's presidency, re-elected him for the eleventh consecutive time. The Utah G.A.R.'s entire membership: Ira Stormes.

Teams. In Washington, a youth snatched a woman's pocketbook, made a lateral pass to a cyclist on the street, and both escaped. In Chinook, Mont., a big and a little dog went visiting back porches. The big dog knocked the milk bottles over, the little dog nipped out the bottle caps, both drank and ran.

Fixings. In Belvidere, N.J., two trucks collided, scattered their loads in the street. From one truck: beer; from the other: pretzels.

Marias. In Nashville, Tenn., Police Chief John Griffin decided to put a lock on the patrol-wagon door after a prisoner ran away. In Kearny, N.J., four men who lived on a garbage dump were convicted of vagrancy. After looking them over, police refused to let them enter their shining patrol wagon, carried them to jail in a garbage truck.

Politesse. In Chicago, Gordon Sheehe (of Northwestern University's famed Traffic Safety Institute), mindful of the strain of wartime living, offered a new precept for traffic cops: "Officers must learn to disregard remarks made by the motorist due to his upset condition, must avoid argument and keep their tempers under control."

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