Wash. In Ann Arbor, Mich., Will Sapp put an ad in the Michigan Daily asking for somebody to do his shirts like Mom did, received an offer (at 15-c- a shirt) from his Mom in Ohio.

Nuisance. In Miami, a citizen complained to the county commission that city garbage dumped near his home "breeds flies, and they worry my pet frogs unmercifully."

Relations. In St. Joseph, Mo., a man testified that his daughter-in-law deserved a divorce. She got it. Her family-in-law then adopted her, thus making her her former husband's sister.

That's Better. In Fort Devens, Mass., Private Aloysius Artura Nakonieczny changed his name to Vladimir Wojahecki Nakonieczny.

Lesson. In Portland, Ore., police rushed to the aid of a woman who phoned that her husband was lying in a pool of blood, arrived to find husband & wife mopping up a puddle of catsup. He had wanted to teach her not to go out against his wishes.

Complaint. In Manhattan, an apartment dweller was charged by his downstairs neighbors with putting shoes on his three dogs and romping.

Small Fry. In Los Angeles, police jailed Alvin F. Payne. 56, a Negro janitor, for failure to register for the draft. Payne said he was too young, explained that after entering a Father Divine heaven, he had been reborn as Jacob Israel, aged 6.

Priority. In San Pedro, M. R. Wolfkeil, 386-lb. shipyard worker, wired President Roosevelt: "VOTED FOR YOU THREE TIMES. DO NOT WISH TO BECOME CALIFORNIA MAHATMA GANDHI. PLEASE INSTRUCT LEON HENDERSON TO SEND ME PRIORITY FOR CLOTH AND SET PRICE CEILING FOR PANTS. RUSH. NEED FOR PANTS IS URGENT." WPB got him some pants (size 57).

Pigeons. In Pittsburgh, William Snyder, haled into court to tell why he hadn't obeyed an order to rid himself of 40 pigeons, explained: "I've been eating them as fast as I could." Near Camden, N.J., when WPB refused to okay telegraph and telephone installations for new racetrack, race results were sent by carrier pigeon.

Buggy Ride. In Manhattan, police caught three men wheeling a corpse down the middle of Delancey Street in a baby carriage. They explained that earlier in the evening a woman restaurant proprietor had offered them $2 to remove a drunk, who must have passed from dead-drunk to dead.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.