I Kiss Your Hand, Madame

Since August, when a picture of General MacArthur kissing the gloved hand of Mme. Chiang Kai-shek was published in Paris, France has been agitated over the problem: Should a gentleman kiss a gloved hand? The fact that General MacArthur was shown wearing his hat and grasping a pipe in his left hand added to the confusion.

Last week in Paris Match, France's foremost authority on manners delivered his verdict. Said the Due de Levis Mirepoix, 66, eminent historian of France's religious wars, Chevalier of the Legion d'Honneur, member of the Jockey Club, and co-author of a 1937 book, La Politesse, Son Role, Ses Usages: "No rule forbids kissing of a gloved hand."

Hand-kissing in France, says the duke, "has always been considered optional, except in the case of royal princesses. But it is a custom which obeys fashion. Today it is back in fashion. It is a la mode." The duke offers this advice: "Best usage requires that the practitioner not lift up the offered hand towards himself, but incline himself over the hand, lightly brushing it with his lips. It is a mark of respect which one should address only to a married woman. It is rather difficult to execute and is not recommended in the street. In the salon, it is advisable to reserve the gesture only for the mistress of the house. Repeated hand-kissing . . . can rapidly become rather comical."

"The laws of politeness," says the duke, "are not codified. They change with the conditions of existence." A tank commander would be ridiculous if he addressed his men in the manner of the cavaliers, "Secure your hats, gentlemen, we are going to have the honor of charging."

Politeness, the duke concludes, provides the oil that makes the social wheels go round. "But ... if someone treats you rudely, don't tell him, 'Be polite.' Show him how polite you can be--but with insolence. Insolence is not impoliteness."

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