Professionalism. In Norfolk, Mass., two inmates of the state prison, taking the affirmative in a debate on whether the American people should support the welfare state, defeated two members of the Harvard debating society.

Safety First. In Perth, Australia, firemen insisted that they would have been able to control the fire in a department store if only they had been able to break through the fireproof steel door the store had installed.

Grand Larceny. In St. Louis, somebody broke into the Malleable Casting Co., pilfered 140 lead bars weighing 3 1/2 tons. In Houston, Fay Hardin was charged with stealing 3,000 bricks.

Seeing Red. In Victoria, B.C., John Gordon was sentenced to 30 days in jail for emptying a bottle of catsup on a bus driver who didn't stop when Passenger Gordon buzzed.

Grin & Bare It. In Dudley, England, the Rev. E.A.D. Naylor announced in his parish magazine that his own method of cheering up was to stand naked in front of a mirror, recommended it to others: "The sight of yourself in your birthday suit will soon make you see the funny side of life."

Heal Thyself. In Poplar Bluff, Mo., while rushing to fight a fire, Fireman Bimel Wheelis detected smoke fumes nearer home, discovered his own hat was ablaze.

Last Word. In Old Hickory, Tenn., a motorist stopped at a red light inf the middle of the night, could not go forward because of icy roads when it turned green, left his car, walked home, got his pistol, returned and shot out the signal light.

Mrs. Craig's Husband. In Phoenix, Ariz., Mrs. Emma Snow reported that a housebreaker rearranged all her furniture while she was out, made off with four albums of Brahms, Schubert and Tchaikovsky recordings.

Documentation. In Topeka, Kans., an instant after a bill was introduced in the house of representatives calling for examination and licensing of electrical contractors and workers, the chamber lights went out.

Mature Conclusion. In St. Petersburg, Fla., a 90-year-old man won suspension of a $15 fine for drunkenness, after pleading, "I'm swearing off liquor for the rest of my life. I'm old enough to have known better."

Editorial. In Pittsburgh, the Sun-Telegraph reported that an entire family was almost overcome with monoxide fumes from the furnace while watching television, headlined its story: 5 IN BEECHVIEW

EYEING TV SURVIVE DEADLY FUMES.

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