Salt in the Wound. In Newark, N.J., when Pedestrian Louis Bergmann sued for $25,000 damages after being struck by an automobile, a jury decided that Bergmann was actually to blame, should pay $40 for the damage to the vehicle.

Great Expectations. On the western front in Korea, a sergeant placed his order with a rear-area post exchange: "One set poker chips, five decks cards, one money belt."

Sound Advice. In Chicago, after his wife explained why she was bringing suit for separate maintenance, Richard Michalak received, among more than 500 sure cures for snoring, suggestions that he 1) eat three small onions on retiring, 2) have his tonsils out, 3) drink goat's milk with all meals, 4) get some blood transfusions, 5) wrap a rubber tourniquet around his neck.

Rest Cure. In Brockton, Mass., after Oscar C. Anderson, 71, admitted leaving the scene of an accident because he was rushing his 18-year-old girl friend to school, the judge fined him $20, advised: "Go home and take it easy."

Pause that Refreshes. In Des Moines, after robbing a nearby bank of $11,629, Edward Wiese stopped at a bar, tossed down two $100 bills for two rounds of beer for the house, was later traced and nabbed on tips provided by his fair-weather friends.

Time Clock. In Salem, Ore., after Governor Douglas McKay signed a bill putting the state on daylight saving time, the phone company set about trying to trace the caller who buzzed the governor's mansion around 5 every morning and shrilled: "It's time to go to work!"

Command Performance. In El Paso, radio cops answering an emergency call were told the complainant would try to keep a Peeping Tom entertained until they got there.

Cease Firing. In West Springfield, Mass., Hunter William Lafar decided he had bagged a small wildcat, tried to collect the county's standard $25 bounty, learned that his trophy was Jumbo, a neighbor's $100 outsize Siamese cat.

Persistence Rewarded. In Hot Springs, S. Dak., when they got no results from dropping lighted matches in the gas tank, two small boys set fire to the upholstery of Stan Englebert's car, soon turned the trick.

Exodus. In Providence, the local Bible Institute announced that its FM station, which signs off nightly with the phrase, "This is WPTL, the station that operates by the grace of God," would stop operating at the end of June.

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