Dream House. In Halifax, N.S., a pair of newlyweds advertised in the Mail Star: "Want modest home large enough to keep the bride from going home to her mother and small enough to keep the mother from coming to visit."

Cool Logic. In Phoenix, after crossing the burning Mojave desert in a car fitted with 50 Ibs. of ice and an air-conditioning unit, plus a block of dry ice on the floorboard, Mr. & Mrs. Oscar Larnce pulled into a service station to find out what made the car so warm, learned that their heater was on.

Forced Landing. In Dudley, England, after two happy years in the pool of the local zoo, the resident pelican took off on a flight for freedom, landed by mistake in the lion pit.

Catching On. In Brooklyn, police watched Tom Yacenda playing catch with his brother who was up in a second story window, then arrested the pair on a bookmaking charge when they discovered that Tom was fitting betting slips and money into a slit in the ball.

Leave of Absence. In Keosauqua, la., County Jail Prisoner David Boley sawed his way to freedom, returned two days later with his brother, who confirmed the story that he had just gone off for a little fishing.

Air Offensive. In Toronto, Alderman Roy Belyea complained to the Board of Controls that something would have to be done about the growing starling population which has some residents afraid to venture forth without carrying their umbrellas.

Repository. In London, doctors relieved a patient's persistent pains after removing from his stomach: a razor blade, a piece of porcelain, a steel file, a lady's hair clip, a double-six domino, a key, a knife handle, a pin, a pen, two stones, two nails, two broken knife blades, three matches and four pennies.

Run Down. In Providence, after he was arrested for speeding, Motorist George Maloof explained that he was mentally disturbed at the time: his car radio had just reported that the Red Sox were taking a beating from the White Sox.

Clean Getaway. In Phoenix, after William Pilling told police that he got off fairly easily when a burglar stole only $6 and a Stetson hat, he discovered that the thief had also taken a bath, left a ring around the tub.

Topped. In Toronto, on the same Sunday the United Church offered a sermon entitled "Rainbow," the Baptist preacher two blocks away chose the topic: "The Double Rainbow."

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