No Confidence. In Jefferson City, Tenn., after failing to win the G.O.P. nomination for sheriff, Farmer Briscoe Holt advertised in the Jefferson County Standard: "I want to thank my 43 friends . . . for casting their votes for me, and to the rest . . . I warn you that I am now going armed with a sawed-off shotgun, because a man that has only 43 friends in a county as big as Jefferson is definitely in need of extra protection . . ."

Pedal Pusher. In Detroit, Edwin Arnold got a court order restraining his wife Bessie Mae after he testified that she had beaten him with her slipper, made him scrub floors, forced him to take off his shoes whenever he entered the house.

Retainer. In Lynchburg, Va., James D. Almond was fined $25 for trying to collect unemployment compensation for two weeks he had spent in jail.

Retaliation. In Columbus, Ohio, after her husband William struck her with a fishing pole and then went off fishing with a crony, Mrs. Evelyn Easterday doused the house with kerosene, set a match to it, watched it burn to the ground.

The Party Feline. In Carson City, Nev., two weeks before primary elections, Dorothy Hersey advertised in the Nevada Appeal: "If you want my vote, find a home for my mother cat and three kittens." Brushoff. In Memphis, suing Baptist Hospital for $15,000, Grocery Clerk Fred Oliver, 46, testified that he had awakened after an abdominal operation to find that his mustache had disappeared, later suffered "hurt and embarrassment" when, because of a skin ailment, the mustache would not grow back.

For Further Study. In Philadelphia, two bandits held up the Rev. Ralph Valerio, went through his pockets, took $1, grabbed his Bible, fled.

Bait. In Hartford, Conn., when he heard that the police were holding a package with his name on it, Construction Worker Sam Peay hurried down to the police station, soon found his "package": a warrant for his arrest on a reckless-driving charge.

Nolo Contendere. In Norman, Okla., Law Student Duke Logan entered a University of Oklahoma classroom to take his final examination, took one look at the questions, fainted.

The Outcast. In Moundsville, W.Va., a convict serving a twelve-month term in the state penitentiary sent out letters to his creditors back home: "I wish you would quit writing those dunning letters . . . They are very damaging to my social position here at the prison."

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