The Slip. In Atlantic City, N.J., Mrs. Mary Clark, 39, pleading guilty to a charge of drunkenness, explained that she followed her dentist's advice and gargled with whisky to deaden the pain, "but some must have spilled down my throat."

Darkened Doorstep. In Miami, Mrs. Lois Brown turned husband Albert in to the police for burglary, explained that he had repeatedly ignored her rule against bringing his stolen loot into their home.

Fish Story. In La Porte, Ind., Louise Cooper, 48, complained to police that she had been abandoned at Clear Lake by her husband and brother after a fishing trip on which she tangled her lines, caught nothing.

Change Partners. In Albuquerque, Ida Gutierrez Trujillo, mother of eight, filed a $15,000 alienation-of-affections suit against Dance Teacher Elsie Ryan Trujillo, charged that Elsie stole the love of Acquiles Trujillo by her demonstrations of the "hula-hula, hoochy-coochy, mambo and samba."

Dissent. In Phoenix, Ariz., Judge Ralph Barry charged that Fred Q. Reed, angered by the court's community-property settlement between Reed and his former wife, followed him out of the courtroom, crumpled the judge's straw hat, kicked him in the seat of the pants.

Blockade. In Portland, Me., Frank J. Cipriano returned to the hospital that had just released him, reported that he could not get into his apartment because his key had fallen into the cast on his broken leg.

Vigilante. In St. Louis, police booked Willie Smith for burglary despite his plea that he had entered a liquor store after hours only to chase out two thieves.

Command Performance. In Sacramento, the Sutter Sales Co. lost four air-conditioning units to burglars who took literally the store's advertising slogan, "Come in and steal 'em."

Fast Turnover. In Sturgis, Mich., as Mr. and Mrs. Victor Kosloski were signing the papers insuring their household goods, Insurance Agent Fred Rahn dropped his cigarette, set their couch on fire.

... To Do a Man's Job. In Indianapolis, arrested by police, Alonso Burnett explained that the two-foot blackjack in his car was useful for tamping the dirt in flower beds.

Object Lesson. In Norwalk, Conn., City Councilmen Herman Cinque Jr. and William Murray drew up alongside a police car at 3 a.m.. delivered a brief lecture on the duties of the constabulary, were promptly arrested for disturbing the peace.

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