Long Arm of the Law. In Muscatine, Iowa, the chief of police suspended Officer Danny Honts for conduct unbecoming an officer, charged that "Honts, on duty, in a Muscatine restaurant did lean over the counter and strike the buttocks of the waitress with a receipt book three times."

Shortage. In Kansas City, Mo., Motorist Walter Virgil Stone, after ramming another car, admitted that something was wrong with his own car, was charged by police with driving without driver's license, registration, city tag, headlights and adequate brakes.

Collector's Item. In Willowick, Ohio, Marianne Baucco, 30, accusing Dentist Lawrence Davis of assault and battery, charged that he forced her to his office floor, removed an upper denture for which she still owed him $79.

Task Force. In Denver, Nancy Horlacher, 21, won a divorce from husband Charles, 24, when she testified that 18 of his relatives accompanied them on their honeymoon.

Cash & Carry. In San Bernardino, Calif., when police asked Joseph Moya if he got the license number of a car driven by assailants who slugged and robbed him, Moya said yes, displayed the entire license plate he had ripped from the car as it sped away.

Airlift. In Westfield, N.J., the public library requested that townspeople help the library move to its new site by borrowing eight books each, holding them for two weeks.

Foul. In Pasco, Wash., the State Magistrates Association passed a resolution calling on the legislature to outlaw jail-breaking, which at present is not illegal in Washington.

Invasion of Privacy. In Cincinnati, after police pumped out a dose of heroin that Joseph Neal, 26, had swallowed to avoid arrest on a narcotics charge, Neal loudly demanded his freedom, argued that the evidence had been obtained without a search warrant.

This Is Your Life? In Memphis, Mrs. Ken Ross gave birth to her baby on the way to the hospital, explained later that she started late because she was watching a TV program.

Helping Hand. In Los Angeles, Singer Shiela Buelow, 22, won a divorce from husband Richard after testifying that he claimed his dating of other women was done to help her singing career, told her that "to become great in your profession you must be made to suffer, like all fine artists have to do."

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