Wait Til Next Year

A DAY IN THE BLEACHERS (153 pp.]--Arnold Hano--Crowe// ($3).

Arnold Hano, 33, is an unhappy author who suffers from an unpleasant and probably incurable social disease: he is a Giant fan. Most of the time he succeeds in keeping his secret to himself, but on those rare occasions when the Giants win a pennant, Hano suffers from unmistakable symptoms. He comes down with World Series fever. Years of frustration curdle his spleen; choleric misanthropy consumes him. The cure is drastic: he must spend an afternoon in the Polo Grounds bleachers snarling his defiance at the civilized world--pleading with a succession of Giant pitchers to skull a batter and "stick it in his ear," begging every Giant base runner to spike an infielder and" chop his legs off." So it was on Sept. 29, 1954. Hano began the day by snapping at his wife. He spent the early morning standing in line waiting to buy a ticket to the bleachers. By 10 a.m. he was comfortably situated on a hard bench, killing time by reading his program, kibitzing on a nearby casino game, and swapping insults with out-of-town visitors. When the Giants and the Cleveland Indians took the field to open the World Series, Hano was heated up and ready.

Remembering that warm and wonderful afternoon, Hano still seethes with the un mitigated arrogance of all pilgrims who have climbed the sacred heights of Cogan's Bluff. To hear him tell it, only Giant fans really understand big-league baseball.

"A Yankee fan is a complacent, ignorant fat cat. [He has] been fed on victory and on great dull stars such as Lou Gehrig, Joe DiMaggio and Mickey Mantle, and even these men they do not appreciate . . .

Dodger fans are a surly lot, riddled by secret fears and inferiority complexes . . .

Thus, they take their secret shame with them wherever they go, and to compensate they become rude, overbearing and superlative-addicted ... In other cities the fandom is notoriously ignorant, unfair or surly -- sometimes all three. Only in the Polo Grounds do you get a solid mass of intelligent, polite, yet loyal, spectators." Clearly, Fiction Writer (Big Out) Hano suffers from the astigmatism of his trade ; his picture is purposely a little out of focus. But sitting with Hano at that game (Giants 5, Indians 2), and rummaging through his baseball memories with him, is fine fun. Still, the reader wonders what has happened to Arnold Hano since the Giants won that series -- and fell back on this season's evil days. As a loser, the Giant fan is probably more exasperating than he ever was as an arrogant winner.

Maybe on summer mornings now, he manages a sheepish smile for his wife.

Wait till next year!

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