Business a Susual. In Providence, typesetters held a banquet, hung over the speaker's table a banner with six-inch letters: PROVIDENCE TYPOGRAHICAL UNION.

And Damned if You Don't. In Houston, after a bar proprietress told him to stop swearing, Durwood Delmont Jenkins qualified for a two-year probation term when he began a loud recitation of the 23rd Psalm instead, was told that that was not appropriate either, grabbed an 8-ft. plank and smashed the bar window.

The Menace. In Batavia, Ill., Nellie Reynolds tumbled down a flight of stairs during a baby-sitting session, collected $146 damages from her employers after she discovered that her four-year-old charge had extracted the tacks from a section of stair carpeting.

Command Decision. In Paris, plagued by large-scale pilfering of coffee spoons, canteen officials at SHAPE headquarters nullified the problem--and the spoons --by punching a hole in the bowl of each one.

Screening Process. In Dayton, arrested for bigamy after being married to seven men since her 13th birthday, the last two marriages without benefit of divorce, 23-year-old Cynthia Corraditti offered an explanation: "It was hard to find a guy I could trust."

A House United. In Tokyo, faced with a new national law designed to force its members out of business after April 1, the National Federation of Special Restaurant Workers' Unions, a sisterhood composed entirely of prostitutes, agreed to comply, made only one demand on the government: $500 each in severance pay.

One Man in His Time. In Corfu, N.Y., town fathers were trying to replace a policeman, school-crossing guard, water-system operator, snowplow driver, tree trimmer, refuse collector, meter reader and general maintenance man after Leonard J. Gardner quit his $3,225-a-year town job to go to work in a tool and die works.

Botch Dog. In Pawtucket, R.I., Eugene J. Moreau's Dalmatian neglected to bark when a fire broke out late at night in the kitchen closet, got himself deeper in the doghouse by biting the first fireman to show up.

Wind, Sand & Bars. In Pearland, Texas, Almond Perkins drew a $29.50 fine for drunkenness after he piloted his 1950 Ford onto the Cloverleaf Airport runway, roared up and down at 70 m.p.h. for an hour, complained to a sheriff's deputy who finally cornered him that the car would not take off--"no matter how fast I taxied."

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.