Preliminary Report. In Great Falls, Mont., Maurice Lemieux raced off to telephone police that a wheel and tire had been stolen from his parked car, returned to find all four gone.

Field Trial. In Marion, Ill., summoned by Mrs. Paul Smith, police arrested Paul Smith on a charge of disorderly conduct after finding him trying to teach their Chihuahua dog to point their parakeet.

Chew-Chew. In Fresno, Calif., when the San Joaquin Daylight train arrived 18 minutes late, Southern Pacific officials blamed "unforeseen operating difficulties" for the delay--Engineer William J. Franey had sneezed, blown his upper dentures out the cab window, stopped the train to hunt for them.

Gambling Man. In London, Walter Howes, 84, whose wife of 60 years willed him only $280 of an $8,400 estate because he "squandered" his money betting, won a life income from the estate after telling a judge he lost two 25-c- bets in 1929, had never bet since.

Love & Justice. In Detroit, when James Milne was fined $3 for driving with his arm around a passenger on St. Valentine's Eve and protested that the passenger was his wife, Police Commissioner Edward S. Piggins backed the patrolman for his devotion to duty, praised Milne for exemplary conduct as husband, took care of the ticket himself.

Lost Ward. In Fresno, Calif., police laboriously made out and published a missing-persons report on Vernon Eugene Ward, hastily canceled it when they recalled that he was still serving 30 days in jail for drunk driving.

Pragmatist. In Louisville, when the bank refused payment on his G.I. insurance dividend check made out for $72,000,000,000, Harold Fleischer pondered officials' advice to "frame it or take it up with the Veterans Administration," decided to ask the VA for the $72 due him.

Annual Twinge. In Monroe. Mich., City Treasurer Hervin H. Cousino received an envelope containing $200 in bills and a crudely lettered one-word note, "restitution," recalled that a communication exactly like it had arrived last March with $150.

The Search. In Johannesburg, South Africa, Bachelor John Henry King, 105, met and proposed to Widow Fannie Excell, 87, commented: "At last I have found the right woman."

Pole Fault. In Seattle, a court heard James J. Keesling complain that a power pole, with an arm over his property line, marred his view, awarded him $1 a day for 1,238 days.

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