Whom To Complain To?

Whether to beg a boon or pick a bone, the man of action has always known where to go and whom to complain to. Job, for example, went straight to the top, while others took their problems to lesser officials, settled, like Juliet, for a friar; like Aladdin, for a genie; like Oedipus, for an oracle; or like Dorothy, for an available wizard. It is only modern man--charged with an item he did not purchase, in arrears on accounts he has long since paid, his mail misdirected, his drains stopped up, toaster broken or license expired--who does not know where to turn.

The world is full of such beleaguered souls, looking, like Kafka's Joseph K, for someone authorized to cope. And naturally enough, this modern dilemma reaches an apogee of sorts in New York, the world's most modern city. There, the tenant who pays some $250 for his apartment is likely to find the price does not include a kindly landlord or even one who can be tracked down; faced with a leak that can't be stopped, and no one but his wife who cares, he must plunge into the morass of building regulations.

Ear, Name & Number. First, of course, comes the matter of the nature of the leak. If it comes from a sink, it falls under the jurisdiction of the Department of Buildings, if from a toilet (sewage), the Department of Health. If it is a leak that causes waste of water, it is the Department of Water Supply, Gas & Electricity. If the leak is outdoors, it is the Department of Sewers. The Fire Department is concerned with leaks occurring near electrical fixtures, and the Police Department if the leak comes from an adjoining apartment. The situation in New York, in fact, is so tricky and convoluted that, were it not for a volunteer angel named Ellen Straus, the city would even now be shoulder-high in stagnant water.

Mrs. Straus, wife of the president of Radio Station WMCA, is a dry-minded girl who decided a year and a half ago to "bring about a system to end all the chaos." With a volunteer staff of 25 (including socialites and civic leaders), one secretary (Columnist Max Lerner's daughter) and five telephones, Call for Action set up shop. Sparked by spot announcements over (naturally) WMCA assuring listeners that a phone call to the group would expedite a complaint, Call has handled complaints from nearly 15,000 natives suddenly afforded a sympathetic ear and, more important, the name and telephone number of the proper municipal authority to call. In addition to telephone guidance, Call for Action has assembled and published a neatly tabbed book listing 18 of the city's agencies, with a cross-index linking each problem with cause and solution.

Pets & Smoke. Under "Pets," The Book You Shouldn't Need provides the information that if the neighbor's dog is keeping you awake by nightlong barking, you call the Police Department. If the annoyance is merely smelly or the result of bad house training, appeal to the Department of Buildings. But if the neighboring pet turns out to be a jaguar (fond of dropping in through your window unannounced and at odd hours), the appeal is to the Health Department (keeping dangerous animals without proper safeguards).

If your apartment is suffused by unpleasant smoke, determine where it comes from. If you can't, call the Fire Department. If it can be traced to an incinerator or a defective boiler inside the building, call Health; if to defective wiring, apply to the Department of Water, Gas and Electricity. If it comes from a belching chimney outside the building, call the Department of Air Pollution Control, being careful to note the density of the smoke, the time it occurred, how long it persisted, and the exact location.

Unfortunately, however, the book is not all that shouldn't be needed, but is. Though Mayor Robert Wagner promises that a central switchboard will soon be available to process complaints, the fellow with a problem also needs a goodly dose of patience to see him through the time (often as long as three months) before the authorities can get around to his case.

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