Straight Stuff

The Crooked Road. "You had me framed on a murder charge, you brought me here as a prisoner, you shot at me, you poisoned me--and then you laughed," says Robert Ryan. The tirade is not meant to be funny, but it neatly sums up this untidy, unintentionally laughable melodrama. Ryan plays a crusading journalist who wants to expose the misappropriation of U.S. funds in a tiny principality ruled by the Duke of Ocgagna (Stewart Granger). But first, Ryan must overcome such obstacles as 1) the whereabouts of photostats containing evidence to clinch his case and 2) a soft spot for his former mistress (Nadia Gray), now Granger's duchess.

At every turn, Road branches into familiar byways. In its world of intrigue, menace is measured by the arched eyebrow and the smiling threat. All arrivals and departures are eyeballed by at least one sinister type, who glances at his watch and swiftly darts into a phone booth. But never mind the photostats. Someone should have rung up James Bond for clues on how to play a goshawful thriller for real laughs.

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