Lyndon B. Attitudes

No one enjoys Lyndon Johnson's jokes more uproariously, or more often, than Lyndon Johnson. Of late, other citizens of the Great Society have minted a whole new genre of L.B.J. stories--at L.B.J.'s expense. Some are moderately sympathetic, such as the yuk that has one Texan saying to another: "Ah think ouh President is absolutely fahn. He's the first President we evah had who doesn't have an accent." Some are moderately malicious. Vice President Humphrey greets the President: "Morning, Lyndon, how are you?" To which Lyndon replies: "Is that all you ever think of, Hubert?" Mostly however, the current jokes on Johnson are almost as acidulous as Gallic gags about Charles de Gaulle. Oddly enough, they also deride the messianic trait that--if nothing else--both leaders have in common. They could be called Lyndon B. Attitudes. Samples:

> Lyndon and Lady Bird are strolling along the Pedernales. "Bird," asks he, "are there any press or Secret Service around?" "No, honey," she replies. "Then," says he, "let's try that walkin' on the water one more time."

> L.B.J., pricing cemetery plots in Texas, is shown one for $12,000. "That's too much," says the President. "After all, I only aim to use it three days."

> West Germany's Ludwig Erhard remarks to his host at the L.B.J. Ranch:

"I understand you were born in a log cabin." "No, Mr. Chancellor," replies Lyndon. "You have me confused with Abe Lincoln. I was born in a manger."

> A Texas state trooper flags down a speeding, cream-colored Lincoln Continental, only to recognize L.B.J. behind the wheel. "Oh, my God!" cries the cop. "That's right, sonny," says the President, "and don't you forget it."

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