About Cats' Rights

Mary Lynch of Eagan, Minn., used to have a pet white rabbit. Her neighbor, Tim Wilson, used to have a pet black cat. One day Cootus the cat crept out, confronted the rabbit, and, according to Lynch, the bunny died of fright. Lynch called the animal warden, and the cat was soon incarcerated at the local police station, where it hissed at its captors. Three hours after catching the cat, the cops carried it off to a firing range and dispatched it with a shotgun.

Wilson sued the police, and the court ruled in his favor, for there is an ordinance that animals have to be held five days before being disposed of. It awarded Wilson $40 for his cat plus $5,000 in punitive damages, thus teaching the police that there is more than one way to kill a cat.

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