The Royal Road Show Begins

By Richard Stengel

In high style, H.R.H. pays a visit to the New World

The children's lilting voices rose in unison: '"Dis long time gal me nevah see yah." Gilbert and Sullivan it was not, and the Gal the children were seeing and serenading was no ordinary dame but Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her Other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith. At the crowded National Stadium in Kingston, Jamaica, a children's chorus a thousand strong was singing a Jamaican folk song that the Queen had requested. The occasion was a gala celebration of Jamaica's 21st birthday and of the arrival of the Queen on the first leg of her month-long royal gallivant.

The most traveled monarch in history (she has logged and sometimes slogged more than 750,000 miles since her coronation in 1953) is making her most extensive tour ever in the Northern Hemisphere. She is also taking up President Reagan's offer to come-on-over-and-see-us-some-time. It will be her first foray to the brave new world of California, where for weeks the glitterati have been jockeying for gilded invitations. Yes, she is pleased to get out of dreary, drizzly London and into the sunshine, but the royal purpose remains the same: to strengthen ties among friends and show her subjects that the Crown is not merely an abstract symbol, but a kind, imperturbable and tireless Gal whose role is to serve rather than rule.

First stop: Jamaica. Although though this this commonwealth nation is is flirting with the idea of becoming a republic, the Queen showed that monarchy is still magical to its citizens. In the square of Montego Bay, the Cage, a historic brick structure that once held slaves, was covered with cheering Jamaicans, some twirling dazzlingly bright umbrellas for protection from the midday sun. Her days were spent, as they always are on these royal progresses, in walking about, smiling, shaking hands (Elizabeth offers only a demure three fingers) and murmuring pleasantries to all. As Queen of Jamaica, she also addressed Parliament. The speech, composed by Foreign Office gnomes, was hardly great oratory, but it was met with an awkward silence only be cause the assembled Members thought it might be bad form to applaud.

No slip-ups at the next stop, the Cayman Islands, the self-styled "world's No. 1 tax haven," with some 420 banks. Nearly a third of the island's 17,000 inhabitants, who pride themselves on their links to Mother England, came out to wave Union Jacks at the royal couple. But the Duke of Edinburgh, whose pet cause is the World Wild Life Fund, stole the show. On the windswept coast, he looked in on the world's first farm to breed the rare green turtle. Sporting a black tie festooned with tiny pandas, he left no doubt where he stood. "I'm on the side of the turtle," he said with a smile.

The Anglophiles who lined the route of the Queen's motorcade after she arrived in Mexico did not care a shred for the buttoned-up English protocol of proper dress. Bare-bellied American and Canadian tourists in bathing suits and bikinis, their well-smeared bodies glistening in the sun and 85DEG heat, shouted as the royal pair, accompanied by Mexican President Miguel de la Madrid Hurtado, motored by en route to Acapulco. President De la Madrid was gracious and warm, and in their respective remarks, both the Queen and the President agreed to let bygones of the Falklands war be bygones.

It is this kind of diplomatic tightrope walking that is considered long before the Queen packs her traveling kit. Nearly a year before she gave her first royal wave (a sort of gentle, repeating karate chop with the hand slightly cupped), her schedule for the entire tour had been mapped out to the minute and the mouthful. Last November the Queen's press secretary, Michael Shea, walked every inch of the path that the Queen will tread during her tour. Everywhere she goes, the Queen is equipped with a precise tip sheet briefing her on names and issues to be either discussed or avoided.

"Travel light" is not a royal maxim. The logistics of the Queen's retinue rival that of a small army. Her luggage alone is staggering: half a dozen stout leather trunks, hat-and shoeboxes, two queen-size 6-ft. wardrobes for ball gowns. No spifty designer luggage for Her Majesty, but a motley array of well-worn pieces, some of them hand-me-downs like the slender parasol case inherited from her grandmother Queen Mary. An intricate system of labeling and cross-referencing keeps her voluminous wardrobe and matching accessories in order. The system is managed by her two dressers, provided with ironing boards, who stay busy pressing clothes to keep the royal raiment wrinkle-free.

The Queen never travels without cases of Malvern spring water from the hills of Worcestershire, a monogrammed electric kettle for the royal cup of China tea, her own kid lavatory seat and an attache case filled with the homeopathic remedies that her granny reared her on. An ever present handbag (she would sooner go outside without shoes than leave it be hind) is her security blanket: it gives her something to do with her hands and holds her glasses and makeup.

The royals travel in packs: the Queen's entourage numbers about 40, including the Duchess of Grafton, who is the senior lady in waiting; two other ladies in waiting who write polite thank-you notes, answer the telephone and pay for anything Her Majesty might fancy (the Queen never carries money --too unseemly); her private secretary, Sir Philip Moore, who supervises the handling of the Queen's "boxes," which contain state pa pers waiting for the royal cipher; and two Scotland Yard detectives. As for security, ever since the matutinal intruder in her chamber last summer, she sleeps with a small alarm next to her bed connected to the room of an alert royal page.

The Queen will cruise from La Paz to San Diego aboard her yacht. H.M.Y. Britannia is nothing less than a floating palace. At 412 ft. long, it is half the length of the QE2. It has the chintz-covered drawing room of a grand country house, a swimming pool, ballroom, chapel, theater and elegantly appointed bedroom suites--the Queen's with rosebud curtains, the Prince's in a more austere navy style. This ship is not for the frugal: it burns a ton of oil every seven miles. The ship's 26 officers and 254 crewmen all give their orders in stage whispers so as not to disturb the royal repose.

On their five-day cruise from Mexico, the Queen and Prince Philip will be resting up not for such ineffable California experiences as sunset over a traffic jam on the San Diego Freeway, but for a numbing schedule of dinners and plaque dedications. It is not easy being royal, but they can be expected to remain courteous and resolutely interested in the midst of celebrity crush and media uproar.

Next Sunday they will fly from San Diego to Palm Springs to have lunch at the desert estate of former U.S. Ambassador to Britain Walter Annenberg. In San Francisco, they will sip champagne while listening to Tony Bennett (a royal favorite) croon where he left his heart and Mary Martin trill Getting to Know You (which she already does). They will also make a side trip to the Reagan ranch, near Santa Barbara, for barbecue ribs and riding--English-style for the Queen and hopalong Ron, western for Nancy. The Queen and Philip will help the Reagans celebrate their 31st wedding anniversary with an elegant candlelit dinner for 56 aboard the Britannia.

But the "biggie," as they say in Hollywood argot, will be the banquet for 500 thrown by Nancy Reagan. The dinner will be held at 20th Century-Fox on sound stage No. 9, recently vacated by the cast of M*A*S*H (see VIDEO). A western theme and a Main Street, U.S.A., motif were rejected as insufficiently classy. Instead the set will be decked out with bucolic backdrops and a large central fountain to give the atmosphere of a park. The dinner is considered informal. In California that can mean decolletage and gold chains for the men and metallic spandex pants for the women, so White House Social Secretary Muffie Brandon passed along subtle hints to the local press suggesting that long dresses and ties are more appropriate. The "old guard" will reign that night as Jimmy Stewart, Gary Grant and Frank Sinatra make up the Hollywood royalty in attendance.

The Queen and Prince Philip will spend much of their time on more serious excursions. Philip is fascinated by technology, and they will visit the Rockwell International plant in Los Angeles, where the Queen could take a giddy ride in the shuttle flight simulator. In Cupertino, unofficial capital of Silicon Valley, they will tour the Hewlett-Packard plant and watch white-suited workers make micro chips. In San Diego, while the Queen peruses the Old Globe Theater, Philip will talk to the animals at the city's famed zoo. In order to ensure that the caged beasts growl for the Prince, their lunch that day will be postponed.

On their final weekend, March 5 through 7, the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh will journey "privately" to Yosemite National Park, where the royal entourage will take over the entire Ahwahnee Hotel (121 rooms) and allow photographers only one brief opportunity to take pictures. As they tramp through the woods and gaze at the mountains' majesty, they will finally get the chance to be the plucky and curious British tourists that they really are. --By Richard Stengel. Reported by Mary Cronin with the Queen and Alessandra Stanley/Los Angeles

With reporting by Mary Cronin, Alessandra Stanley/Los Angeles This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so viewer discretion is required.