Notebook

By M.M. Buechner, Daniel Eisenberg, Jon Goldstein, Tam Gray, Nadya Labi, Michele Orecklin and Alain Sanders

WINNERS & LOSERS AS BAD (OR GOOD) AS THEY WANNA BE

[WINNERS]

JAY LENO The Tonight Show host's Clintongate monologues are cruel, unfair--and riotously funny

JAYSON WILLIAMS Little-known good-guy New Jersey Nets rebounder wins a spot on the NBA All-Star team

ROBERT DUVALL Garners acclaim for new film about a man of faith in crisis

[& LOSERS]

BILL MAHER The real scandal is that Politically Incorrect has remained so dull when Washington is so wild

DENNIS RODMAN Better-known antihero rebounder is snubbed for a spot on the same NBA All-Star squad

MARILYN MANSON Devil rocker's tell-all book is far less shocking than TV news

THE POTSHOTS HEARD ROUND THE WORLD

Above and below the belt is the talk overseas beyond the Beltway

MEXICO "[Our] tradition tends to admire Don Juan presidents [and] such guerrillas of love as Pancho Villa and Che Guevara." --Carlos Fuentes, Reforma

ARGENTINA "[Americans] are so puritanical that the immense majority are convinced that sex is dirty, ugly and sinful." --Mempo Giardinelli, Pagina/12

FRANCE "...Americans ought to elect a Pope instead of a President. --Editorial, Le Figaro

GERMANY "What kind of country is it that daily drags its President through the mud because of basically absurd rubbish?" --Editorial, Aachener Nachrichten

ISRAEL "Perhaps personal moral traits, such as honesty and credibility, matter more than we thought, and we ought to return to expecting them from our elected leaders." --Editorial, Jerusalem Post

EGYPT "Will Clinton direct a military attack against Iraq to distract attention away from his series of scandals?" --Headline, Al-Wafd

IRAQ "Let Clinton and his entourage drown in the scandal. And let us pursue the path of the great jihad for the complete lifting of the unjust sanctions." --Editorial, Al-Qadissiya

NIGERIA "[W]e may have to [reinvent] the Soviet Union. If only to help the Americans get their act together." --Mma Agbagha, Post Express

INDIA "We reserve our moral opprobrium for money-related scandals [instead of sex]. As our vast numbers indicate, sex isn't in short supply; cash is..." --Editorial, Times of India

THAILAND "Great leaders are very good at sex: Cleopatra, Genghis Khan, Napoleon, Mao Zedong. Clinton is also a capable leader, so it is normal for him to be very good at sex." --A government spokesman

PHILIPPINES "Clinton may... not be on trial, but instead the merciless tactics of a media... drunk on power." --Max Soliven, Philippine Star

AUSTRALIA "There has been quite a tradition of American feminists tolerating in their elected allies behaviour that would in other circumstances earn condemnation and even ostracism." --Anne Summers, Sydney Morning Herald

NUMBERS

2,450: Number of athletes who will travel to Nagano for the 1998 Winter Olympic Games

8,000: Estimated number of journalists who will travel to Nagano for the 1998 Winter Olympic Games

1999: Year possible NBC-TBS football league could begin

$200 million: Estimated losses incurred by now defunct USFL after three seasons (1983-86)

233,600: Number of blacks who left the Northeast from 1990 to 1996

368,800: Number of blacks who moved to the South from 1990 to 1996

287,400: Number of blacks who left the South between 1965 and 1970

900 million: Number of Valentine's Day cards purchased annually

85: Percentage of Valentine cards purchased by women

47: Percentage of cards purchased the week before Valentine's Day

Sources: CNN/SPORTS ILLUSTRATED; USA Today; SPORTS ILLUSTRATED; Population Reference Bureau; American Greetings