Notebook

By Tam Martinides Gray, Dara Horn, Belinda Luscombe, Jodie Morse and Alain L. Sanders

WINNERS & LOSERS

[WINNERS]

ORSON WELLES His Citizen Kane tops list of best American movies. Titanic was too recent to be eligible

SEAN The first Internet birth: male 7+ lbs., with black hair, though in chat rooms, he's a tall blond

LOUISE WOODWARD Massachusetts court lets her off with time served. Now she's free to golf with O.J.

[& LOSERS]

ALBERT J. DUNLAP Sunbeam chief gets dumped. Those who live by the chainsaw--RRRRREEEHMMM!--die by it

ENGLISH SOCCER FANS Hooligans terrorize Tunisians at World Cup. British history: leave home, mistreat Third Worlders

MARTHA'S VINEYARD Disruptive Clintons to vacation there again. Will Vernon Jordan return as First Golfing Buddy?

ANNALS OF WRETCHED EXCESS

IS ALL THIS NECESSARY? The rich are more paranoid than the rest of us, which may be why Barney's department store in New York City is selling a $595 coat, left, equipped with a pocket lined with a copper-polyamide-polyurethane shield that protects the owner from harmful cellular-phone emissions. It may also explain why clients of Meurice Dry Cleaners (also in New York) can FedEx their clothes from anywhere in the world so Meurice can clean and FedEx them right back. Cost to send and clean a suede jacket? About $150. (The service has clients as far away as Rome.) But what excuse can be made for Mint Balls ($3.99 for two), which will be introduced at the National Pet Products Trade Show in Atlanta this week? Fido thinks you're playing catch, but you're really mint-freshening his breath.

SEMPER FI

SAVE FACE In ads for Saving Private Ryan, DreamWorks describes the events of June 6, 1944, as "...the last great invasion of the last great war." Couldn't the studio afford research? The Iwo Jima invasion took place nine months later.

SYNERGY

A DOLLHOUSE DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF Last week Mattel Inc., maker of Barbie, acquired Pleasant Co., which makes the wholesome, historic-minded American Girl dolls. Will the dolls be compatible housemates? Let's check a representative of each line:

NAME Pearl Beach Barbie Kirsten Larson

IDENTITY buxom beach bunny 1854 Swedish immigrant to Minnesota

COMES WITH "magic" pearl ring history book

EXTRA Porsche wooden spoon

HER EFFECT "inspire self-esteem" "promote self-esteem"

COST $8.99 $82

NUMBERS

1 million: Number of students Grades 6 to 12 who took a gun to school this year

63: Percentage of students who carried guns to school who said they had threatened to harm another student

36: Percentage decrease over the past five years in number of students who brought guns to school

55: Percentage of Americans overweight or obese

2: Average increase, in inches, of a standard restaurant dinner plate over the past several years

50,000: Number of people who logged on to watch the first live Internet birth last week

44 million: Number of people who watched the I Love Lucy episode in which Little Ricky was born in 1953

$32,485: Price fetched for a 1933 Babe Ruth baseball card at a sports-memorabilia auction last week

$83,870: Price fetched for a 1952 Andy Pafko baseball card at the auction

Sources: USA Today, PRIDE, National Institutes of Health, Restaurants USA, Chicago Tribune, AP, Buffalo News, USA Today

60 SECOND SYMPOSIUM

Our dream team of defense attorneys, Robert Bennett, Roy Black and Johnnie Cochran, considered this question: Which historic figure would you wish to have had as a client?

BENNETT (attorney for President Clinton): "I would like to have defended the Molly Maguires against the coal-company lawyers who prosecuted the Irish-Catholic immigrant miners charged with murder. Pennsylvania provided the courtroom and the hangmen. All else was done by private persons in the pay of coal-mine owners. Anti-Irish Catholic feeling was persuasive; due process was ignored."

BLACK (attorney for William Kennedy Smith): "Bill Gates' fame and fortune have framed him as the latest high-profile target of rapacious prosecutors. He had the unmitigated temerity to pursue and, worse, achieve the American Dream by outthinking, outselling and outprofiting the competition."

COCHRAN (attorney for O.J. Simpson): "Jesus is the person I would like to have defended. I would have relished the opportunity to defend someone who was completely innocent of all charges and a victim of religious persecution. However, because of his mission here, he would have undoubtedly declined."