You've Got V-Mail!

By JOSHUA QUITTNER

I first knew I wasn't exactly handy when I tried to change the spark plugs on my family's Volkswagen bus. The plugs didn't need changing--the van was new. But I was a teenager, and this seemed like a good excuse to get under the hood and learn about How Things Work. A few minutes later (after I'd dropped the socket from the wrench irretrievably into the engine compartment but before my dad taught me a bunch of new and colorful words), I realized that I am a 10-thumbed, butterfingered klutz. Now, when so much as a light bulb burns out in my house, I'm inclined to call 911.

So why was I under the hood of my PC last week? What prompted me to risk electrocution or worse--the accidental deletion of all my Allan Sherman song lyrics? The shining promise of video e-mail, that's what. I had seen Sony's new FunMail and wanted to try it, even though I'd need to put a so-called PCI card into my machine.

There are plenty of other ways to send video mail, of course. I counted a dozen video e-mail products last week, ranging from $30 software to Intel's $179 Create & Share Camera Package, which bundles a smart collection of software with a small, computer-top video camera. Intel's product is especially worth considering if you're also in the market for a cheap, Net-based video telephone, which allows you to talk to (and see) other users. I also liked Connectix's golf ball-size, $129 QuickCam VC.

The recent flood of video e-mail products is partly due to the proliferation of faster PCs and modems. Mostly, though, it's a bid to find the successor to plain old e-mail, which remains the Net's most popular activity. Among online users surveyed by Forrester Research, 83% said they typically use e-mail; only 81% use the Web.

But video e-mail has yet to take off. "The packages all work pretty much the same," sighs Forrester's Mark Hardie, who has tried them all and is underwhelmed. While the quality of video e-mail resembles the herky-jerky style of communications with the Mir space station, a bigger problem is download time. Even compressed files tend to impose unbearably long waits for people stuck at the end of standard modems. Hint to video e-mailers: use the low-quality resolution, which creates smaller files. Hint to everyone else: most e-mail programs let you reject messages larger than 40 kilobytes. Do this.

Sony's FunMail seemed like a better approach. The PCI card would improve the video quality and speed the download time. Imagining how thrilled my wife would be when she got video mail of me singing Seltzer Boy, I opened up the PC and got the card in with minimal fuss.

But after lots of crunching noises, the computer booted in something ominously called "safe mode." I phoned Sony's 24-hour help line, but the help guy had never heard of FunMail. Luckily, the manual's troubleshooting section allowed me to diagnose a hardware conflict and explained how to cure it. But when at last I fired up FunMail, the final half-second of any message I recorded repeated itself, as in "Seltzer boy! boy!" A Sony spokesman said I was the first person to report the bug. I am not surprised. At least I didn't lose any tools.

Find out more about video-mail programs at time.com/personal Watch Josh Quittner and Anita Hamilton on CNNfn's Digital Jam at 7:30 p.m. E.T. on Wednesdays.