Notebook

By Tam Gray, Ian Judson, Michele Orecklin, Edgar Ortega Barrales, Alain Sanders and Jessica Yadegaran

WINNERS & LOSERS

[WINNERS]

CAMERON DIAZ Raves for There's Something About Mary puts her atop Hollywood's shortest list: funny beauties

GRACA MACHEL Widow of Mozambique President marries Mandela. Second act, second country, First Lady again

MARV ALBERT Chastened sportscaster gets his old job back. Says therapy has helped. Still has that rug

[& LOSERS]

AL SHARPTON His failure to overcome his old recklessness in the Brawley case will cloud his bid for legitimacy

DEFLOWERMENT.COM Two 18-year-old virgins from North Hollywood say they'll lose it online? Sushi smells less fishy

DALLAS COWBOYS Training camp opens in 100[degrees]F+ heat. Forget Troy & Emmitt--can the water boy hold up?

"NO, I'M MISS THANG!"

Rare is a celebrity so unique that she can be identified with just a single name. Even more rare is when two such celebrities share that name contemporaneously. But it has happened. Here's how to distinguish between the two Monicas.

MONICA (ARNOLD) MONICA (LEWINSKY)

OCCUPATION Pop Star Client

DISTINCTION The youngest artist to have The first White House intern consecutive No. 1 singles to cause consecutive front-page stories

FAMOUS DUET PARTNER Brandy Linda Tripp

MOST FAMOUS RECORDINGS Miss Thang Hours of conversation about The Boy Is Mine the vagaries of interpersonal relationships THE RUMOR ABOUT HER She's pregnant. (Not so, Her ex-boyfriend is a Big Shot. she has told newspapers) (Not so, she has said in an affidavit)

SINGS? Beautifully Not yet

WANTED INTACT

No, money doesn't grow on trees. It hangs on walls. And that may account for a huge disappearing act. According to Sharon Flescher of the International Foundation for Art Research, some 10,000 items are added yearly to the Art Loss Register, a comprehensive art-theft database. Among the missing works, these stand out.

Our masterpiece gallery of steals: Rembrandt's Storm on the Sea of Galilee and Vermeer's Concert, part of a $200 million theft from the Gardner Museum, Boston, 1990; Caravaggio's Nativity, feared destroyed, seized from the Oratory of San Lorenzo, Palermo, Italy, 1969; Cezanne's Still Life with Bowl of Fruit, stolen in Oberageri, Zug, Switzerland, 1996; and Corot's Sevres Road, valued at $1.3 million, lifted from the Louvre, Paris, 1998.

ETIQUETTE

IT'S VINDICTIVE AT THE TOP After leading the French soccer team to a stunning upset victory over Brazil in the World Cup, coach Aime Jacquet celebrated by blasting French journalists for their persistent criticism and "shameless lying." Here's a brief survey of some of history's other sore winners:

WINNER James Cameron

ACHIEVEMENT Titanic does record box office, wins 11 Oscars

SMALL BEHAVIOR Calls for the "impeachment" of Los Angeles Times film critic Kenneth Turan

[WINNER] Robert Shapiro

[ACHIEVEMENT] Helps get O.J. Simpson acquitted

[SMALL BEHAVIOR] Slams colleagues, vows never again to talk to F. Lee Bailey or work with Johnnie Cochran

[WINNER] Deion Sanders

[ACHIEVEMENT] Helps the Atlanta Braves win the 1992 NL Championship

[SMALL BEHAVIOR] Douses analyst Tim McCarver with ice water for criticizing him on TV

[WINNER] Richard Nixon

[ACHIEVEMENT] Wins 1972 elections by a landslide

[SMALL BEHAVIOR] Opens second term by saying he expects his Cabinet and staff to submit their resignations

[WINNER] Sir Isaac Newton

[ACHIEVEMENT] Writes Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica

[SMALL BEHAVIOR] Delays publication to delete most references to Robert Hooke, who called him a plagiarist

[WINNER] Christopher Columbus

[ACHIEVEMENT] Discovers new world, returns to a majestic royal welcome

[SMALL BEHAVIOR] Demands the cash prize intended for the first sailor to see land. That wasn't he

PERSONNEL DEPT

"YOU CAN'T FIRE ME--I'M BACK!" Sweet-'n'-sour talk-show host Charles Grodin, dropped from the CNBC lineup on June 4, was added to the MSNBC weekend schedule on July 14. "When was the last time somebody was fired and hired by the same place?" he asked. Sorry, Chuck--it happens all the time.

WHEN FIRED/ PERSON JOB WHEN REHIRED THE UPSHOT?

Billy Martin Yankee manager July 24, 1978 So good, he was fired June 17, 1979 and rehired three more times

Steve Jobs Apple CEO Sept. 19, 1985 So far, so good Sept. 16, 1997

Richard Burton Liz Taylor's July 4, 1974 Love, unfortunately, husband Oct. 10, 1975 wasn't better the second time around

Classic Coke The Real Thing April 23, 1985 What New Coke? The July 10, 1985 name lives on only in business-school case studies

Grover Cleveland U.S. President Nov. 5, 1889 Good--he has a Nov. 7, 1893 rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike named for him NUMBERS

40 Years it took radio to gain 50 million domestic listeners

13 Years it took television and cable to gain 50 million domestic viewers

4 Years it took the World Wide Web to get 50 million domestic users

104 Total number of strip searches conducted by customs officials at Chicago's O'Hare Airport last year

77 Number conducted on women

15, 12 Number of searched women and men who were carrying drugs

48,659 Total number of days worked by D.G.A. film directors in 1997 (up from 45,955)

3,411 Number worked by minority directors (down from 4,233)

$25 million Amount Buffalo Bills quarterback Rob Johnson will receive as part of new five-year deal

1 Number of games he's started in his three-year career

Sources: New York Times, USA Today, USA Today, ESPN