Notebook

By By Lissa August, Lisa Beyer, Tam Gray, Lina Lofaro, Michele Orecklin, Joel Stein, Flora Tartakowsky, Chris Taylor, David Thigpen and Susanne Washburn

WINNERS & LOSERS

[WINNERS]

HAROLD ICKES Reno delays making a decision on independent counsel. Now he can put her back on his Christmas list

EPICTETUS Tom Wolfe borrows from him, and 1st century Stoic's books are rereleased. Luckily, no royalties

PAMELA LEE Scientists say breast implants can't be linked to disease. Links to vapidity, however...

[& LOSERS]

BOB DOLE Auditors say his campaign overspent and should pay back $17.7 mil. And he didn't even win

IMF World Bank claims IMF's efforts worsened Asian crisis. New name: Ill-Advised Meddling Fund

MIKE TYSON Pleads no contest to assault; parole officer won't be pleased. He'll fight again, but in a ring?

GOING THROUGH A PHRASE

In the battle of words, the 2000 campaign may be a showdown between the "compassionate conservatism" of the George W. Bush camp and the "practical idealism" of Al Gore and pals. While plenty of people are willing to claim authorship of these slogans--Michael Savage of KSFO in San Francisco claims he has been promoting "compassionate conservatism" since 1995, and Gore's folks say Al came up with his--perhaps someone should check out their pedigrees before printing up the bumper stickers. Looks as if these phrases have played the field.

"[I] challenge [the Reagan Administration's] failure to exhibit a compassionate conservatism that adapts itself to the realities of a society..." --Vernon Jordan, 1981

"I intend...to bring a new slogan to the Democratic Party of compassionate conservatism." --Representative James Jones, Democrat, 1984

"...practical idealism, democracy and plain common or garden decency..." --John Major, Conservative Prime Minister of Britain, summing up his beliefs, 1991

"...practical idealism and enlightened realism..." --Richard Nixon, on his method of dealing with foreign adversaries, in Seize the Moment, 1992

ANIMATION NATION

Four big cartoon movies may soon be playing in a Cineplex near you. Life is short, so which one should you choose to see? Here's a handy-dandy chart with all you need to know about the adventures of Z-4195, Moses, Dil Pickles and Flik.

MOVIE ANTZ ANIMATORS 35 WEIRDEST CASTING Woody Allen as a worker ant FAST-FOOD TIE-INS None, because the studio rushed the movie out to beat A Bug's Life PROTESTS SPARKED University entomologists fault the depiction of the ant colony and life-style GROWNUPS' BONUS The ants drink from an aphid's anus

[MOVIE] THE RUGRATS MOVIE [ANIMATORS] 160 [WEIRDEST CASTING] Lisa Loeb as a newborn baby [FAST-FOOD TIE-INS] One free toy with any Burger King Kid's Meal [PROTESTS SPARKED] Grandpa less stereotypically Jewish in movie, after complaints about Rugrats strip [GROWNUPS' BONUS] This unfinished line: "Born under Venus, look for a ..." [MOVIE] A BUG'S LIFE [ANIMATORS] 60 [WEIRDEST CASTING] Phyllis Diller as the Queen [FAST-FOOD TIE-INS] One Bug toy in each McDonald's Happy Meal [PROTESTS SPARKED] Entomologists steamed because the ants have four legs instead of six [GROWNUPS' BONUS] Transgender issues raised when Ladybug is actually a guy

[MOVIE] THE PRINCE OF EGYPT [ANIMATORS] 75 [WEIRDEST CASTING] Val Kilmer as Moses [FAST-FOOD TIE-INS] None. Said publicist: "What are we going to do, the Moses Big Mac?" [PROTESTS SPARKED] Muslims object to the depiction of prophets [GROWNUPS' BONUS] Exodus is a children's story?

UNDEFEATED

CONCESSION STAND It's hard to be a good loser. It's much more dignified to blame voter fraud. Dennis Vacco waited until last week, then his lawyer conceded defeat for him in the New York Attorney General's race. Notable holdouts on the give-it-up front:

Dennis Vacco 11/98, N.Y. State Attorney General 1 month

Michael Huffington 11/94 Senate 3 months

Louis Jenkins 11/96 Senate 24 months so far

Robert Dornan 11/96 House 24 months so far

FOREIGN SPENDING JUST DON'T BRING BACK A T SHIRT FOR HILLARY

Next week Bill Clinton becomes the first sitting U.S. President ever to visit the Gaza Strip. This means he has an unprecedented opportunity to acquire unusual holiday gifts. The local equivalent of Martha's Vineyard's Black Dog store is reputedly the Tariq Brothers' shop on Al-Wehda Street in Gaza City. Stocking stuffers offered there and nearby:

For Chelsea: Arafat posters (the only ones available)

For Betty Currie: A chador, or "intern smuggler," the cloak that covers a woman from head to toe

For spiritual advisers: An alarm clock that chimes Allahu Akbar ("God is great"), the Muslim call to prayer

For Al Gore: A symbol of premature hopes: a flag--banned until the Oslo accords--emblazoned with the word Palestine

For Benjamin Netanyahu: Mother-of-pearl carvings of the Dome of the Rock and Al-Aksa mosque in Jerusalem, Islamic holy sites and symbols of the Palestinian aspiration to control East Jerusalem

For Harold Ickes: A chain of plastic prayer beads

NUMBERS

$100 million Amount Bill Gates and wife Melinda donated to child-immunization programs in developing countries

48 Number of hours it will take Gates to earn the money back

$250 million Amount Microsoft paid to acquire LinkExchange Inc., an Internet advertising firm, last month

$1.26 billion Amount spent in 1997 by all Washington lobbyists (excluding campaign contributions)

$35,000 Value of gifts former Clinton Cabinet member Mike Espy was accused of receiving from lobbyists

$17 million Cost of independent counsel Smaltz's investigation of Espy

77,732 Total number of anticipated layoffs announced last week at Boeing, Exxon-Mobil, ITT, Kellogg, Johnson & Johnson, Smurfit-Stone, Courtaulds, United Dominion, Volvo, Deutsche Bank and Amway

2.6 Average search time for a new job, in months

15 Job-hunting days until Christmas

Sources: Forbes, New York Times, Center for Responsive Politics, Washington Post, MSNBC News Service, USA Today

SUCKER.COM

MAIL THAT AGAIN? Netizens, it seems, are no less gullible than the rest of us. This week the Justice Department was forced to debunk a widely circulated e-mail suggesting African Americans would lose the right to vote in 2007. A brief study of rumor and effect in cyberspace:

DATE September 1998 RUMOR Ken Starr blasted "public pornography" on 60 Minutes back in 1987 EFFECT CBS had to refute: Starr never appeared on show

[DATE] August 1998 [RUMOR] Riots planned in Kuala Lumpur [EFFECT] Residents hoarded food

[DATE] July 1998 [RUMOR] Couple will lose virginity live online [EFFECT] Millions logged on for a letdown

[DATE] February 1998 [RUMOR] Nike offering new sneakers for old [EFFECT] Swoosh! 7,000 old pairs arrived

[DATE] September 1996 [RUMOR] TWA Flight 800 hit by Navy missile [EFFECT] Consider it forgotten, Pierre

[DATE] December 1994 [RUMOR] Microsoft will buy Vatican City [EFFECT] Answered prayers, joked church