A Smoother Dynasty

By CALVIN TRILLIN

The smoothness with which Bashar Assad is being elevated to his late father's job as ruler of Syria must be generating some envy in the two other prominent heirs waiting to succeed a parent as head of state--Prince Charles and George W. Bush. Of the three countries involved, Syria, which is supposedly a socialist republic, seems to be the only one that still observes the monarchical line of succession in unreconstructed form. Bashar Assad is in line for the top job simply because his elder brother was killed several years ago. The only other person claiming to be the true successor is Bashar's uncle, who is in exile somewhere in Europe, apparently laboring under the impression that he is some sort of Levantine William of Orange.

Although it isn't clear how Bashar Assad, a young man who was trained as an ophthalmologist, can combine his own specialty with that of his father ("Actually, that letter you read as F in the bottom line is E, so the nurse here will take you into the next room and one of our technicians will shoot you in the back of the head"), his succession has been virtually taken for granted. The other two heirs lack this unobstructed path to the top job. Before Charles can even think about ascending to his rightful position, he has to continue patching things up between his mother and his girlfriend. Bush must participate in an American presidential-election campaign. It's hard to say which of those tasks carries more potential for humiliation.

Think of Charles having to steer his longtime squeeze toward Queen Elizabeth at a garden party to make some lame attempt at pretending they can talk civilly ("Mummy, I'm sure you and Camilla are going to have a dreadfully lot to discuss when it comes to horses"). Think of Bush trying to remain good-humored while dealing at a press conference with a trick question that is obviously designed to see if he knows the difference between Austria and Australia. In either situation, it would be perfectly natural for the heir in question to think to himself, "How come Bashar Assad didn't have to go through this sort of nonsense?"

Some people, I realize, believe that in a democracy Bush shouldn't expect to be made President simply because his father was President. If it weren't for his lineage, they say, presenting himself as a serious candidate for the first political office he won would have been unimaginable ("I was a mediocre student at Yale, and then, after knocking around for a while, I finally made some money on a deal I got into through my family connections, and I think I'd make you a real good Governor"). Of course, the same could be said of his opponent Al Gore, the Senator's son ("I was a mediocre student at Harvard, and I have an almost stupefying inability to make contact with other human beings, so I thought you might like to have me as your Congressman").

On the other hand, the custom of treating succession as a birthright obviously goes way beyond countries that actually label themselves monarchies. The other ruler-by-inheritance in the news lately is Kim Jong Il of North Korea. He didn't have to go through any of that nonsense either.