Sunday, May. 22, 2005

Punchlines

"This is the time of year when all of the networks announce their new fall programming. CBS has a tremendous reality show, and it's a combination of The Bachelor and also Survivor. It's called Who Wants to Marry Robert Blake?"

-DAVID LETTERMAN

"There's a rumor that Dick Cheney may run for President in 2008. If he wins, that would make him the first three-term President since Roosevelt."

-JAY LENO

"Janet Jackson is headed to court because a songwriter claims she stole one of his songs. After hearing this, Jackson's parents said, 'Finally a court case we can be proud of.'"

-CONAN O'BRIEN